A Rose will always die.

The sins I carry.

my pastor Rob comes towards me. a man I've known my whole life. kind of a father I've never had. "Rose, may I have a word with you?"

 says my pastor, "Yes, pastor, rob?"

 "Please, call me Rob, Rose" 

"Yes, Rob" My pasto-  no, Rob. tells me to follow him to a bench outside of the church before it starts, to talk in private. of course, I agree as if I did not my mind will make me feel guilty later. and I have some trust in him.

 "you know Rose... that sun dress you're wearing is awfully short," says Rob after putting his hand on my thigh. I take his hand off though and stand up as to create some distance from the man I thought cared about me a few seconds ago. "I'm sorry?"  "It's just a fourteen-year-old girl like you shouldn't be wearing something sinful like that! don't get offended. I'm trying to protect you from sin"

 Even after that crap apology I sat back down and bore through his whole lecture about the stupid dress, at the end I wanted to burn the dress just so he would stop talking.  once he is done I scram off with some dumb excuse. 

"Mother," 

I say after finding her, planning on telling her about how the pastor was yelling at me for the dress she bought me. 

"Mother!" I say again as she is distracted on her telly taking a call.

 "WHAT!" I jump a bit and stay silent. 

"Sorry, speak kid." I open my mouth.

 "p-pastor rob yelled at me." 

"because?!" 

"he said the dress you picked was too short."

 "oh, that pervy prick!" 

"wait, mummy!" I say as she runs after the pastor. 

I love my mum she always stands up for me. 

"wait in the car!" she screams from afar

in the car, I start to think while my mum is driving holding some cold pees to her eye. I've never understood the concept of sin, even as a child after being told I was sinning and needed to be forgiven, I never understood, why should someone else judge me for something I've done? then I understood that fear was needed. I try to do the right thing no matter what. but it was for people who needed a push. a push to be better. if not for punishment, the world would shred as those people who need it, would do whatever they pleased. it was a restraint to their power of free will. god created something that they taught love and acceptance but some rotten apples can make a chain effect. my pastor didn't seem to get that, because whenever he taught he only spoke of hell and damnation. why not teach of love? that's what they taught. 

by the time I finished my thoughts were home and I was exhausted.  I decided that no matter what me and my mom would stick together no matter what. I stuck by that till I left for college 4 years later. and that's when this story begins 

authors note 

I hope you liked the first chapter! I'm so so so so sorry it's so short but this is my first book sooooo. but I hope next week I can get a longer story out!