A Boxful of Sunflowers

i wrote your name on my heart

Kinn wakes up to the soft early morning light.

He had fought tooth and nail to stay by Porsche's side when his body had been returned, but ultimately lost when the world started spinning and darkness swallowed him whole.

Now, he's back on his bed- their bed. Once a warm safe haven, now nothing but cold, empty sheets. The missing warmth around him only cements the fact that Porsche is truly gone, far out of reach no matter how much he yearned for him.

He turns away from the view of Bangkok's cityscape, faced with the expanse of bed that felt so hollow. It's strange to see the bed so put together- it was always in a mess, from Porsche lounging to Kinn resting, especially messy when they're writhing against each other in the throes of pleasure.

Never empty, always warm.

His hands reaches out to smooth over the untouched sheets on Porsche's side of the bed, feeling more alone than he's ever been.

A soft glow of pink in the white sheets has Kinn's heartbeat stuttering. He reaches out, grasping the soft fabric of the plush wolf Porsche religiously kept on his pillow- a gift Kinn had won him on their weekly date nights, one where they started the evening playing games in a fair they passed through, all laughs and smiles, and ended with a heated night in the safe confines of their home.

Kinn strokes the soft toy, his mind taking him back to another time as he shifts on to Porsche's side of the bed.

He had looked at the younger man almost incredulously. Among the well-coordinated color of sheets and pillows was a plush doll- all bright pink, big glass eyes and sparkling blue ears, an ever joyous smile on it wolfish face.

"No." he had said before Porsche could even pose the question.

"Why not?" The question comes out as a whine, Porsche plopping on to pristine sheets and grabbing the toy in his arms, holding it close to his chest as he pouted.

"Because it's hideous and does not belong on our bed." And what would the staff say if they saw? His tough mafia-man image would be ruined- never mind that it was common knowledge how easily he yielded to his lover's whims. But still.

"But you got it for me!" Porsche argues, adamant on keeping the hideous thing. Kinn doubts he would be able to pry it off of Porsche if he tried.

"Porsche." He tries to look stern. Kinn swears he tried. But Porsche was as stubborn as they came, refusing to back down as they stared at each other.

"Kinn."

Kinn groans. The power this man has over him is dangerous.

"Fine." he huffs, rolling his eyes at the enthusiastic whoop from Porsche and allows himself to be pulled on to their bed. "You are such a brat."

Porsche only grins at him, cozying up to his side, the pink monstrosity squished between them. "You love that about me."

Kinn refuses to answer, because that would mean inflating Porsche's ego even more.

"I hate you." he settles, but pulls the younger man closer anyways.

The laugh Porsche answers him with fills Kinn with warmth, the soft press of lips on his cheek drawing a smile from him. "Love you too."

Porsche had gone to sleep every night with the thing in his arms, much to Kinn's exasperation. He had jokingly referred to it as their child- making Kinn snort. If that was the case, it was well-traumatized by now, having witnessed all their fights, all their tears, their joy- even all the debauchery.