Project- Vkook

28|Apricity

[Next Morning]

They all went to the hospital room. The doctor allowed one person at a time cause looking at too many people might put pressure on Deok-su's nerves.

Nayeon was the one getting inside. She took a deep breath of relief after watching him in a stable state. She wanted to ask so many things

How this happened, what led things to happen like this, why haven't you let us know about this... But she just kept it all inside. 

Silently thanking God that at least the said person is alive. 

She sat near his bed silently. 

"You won't curse me, Nayeon"

"I don't think you left me in a position to do that."

"No, don't worry about us being in the hospital. You can curse me wherever you want. That's something I would never want to lose cause hell will break loose if you pent up that anger any longer. "

A small smile formed on her face while reminiscing about the time when Deok su used to tease her a lot cause of her anger. 

After her mother came out, Seokjin signaled Tae to go inside. With a long deep breath, he slowly pushed the door open. 

"Dad... are you okay?"

Deok su looked at him with a frown until he realized with a smile " You know the moment you picked my wallet and called for me I felt I knew you. God, you grew up a lot. I almost..." His words halted before he could speak. 

"It's fine, I know you didn't recognize me at first. I changed a lot then how I used to look at 4"
They both smiled and then stopped talking, contemplating the next choice of words. 

As the silence grew longer, Deok su tried to initiate it, "I heard you are in college, how's it there, do you have friends?"

"Yes, I do." He cut the answer to keep his words as short as he could. 

"I see. It's good to hear. I always wanted to kn-"

"You don't need to try so hard," Tae said cutting his words knowing very well where the conversation was going. 

"Things are not right between us, so asking about me will not change anything. If you want to know how I was all this time, and expect me to say that I was okay then you are wrong. I was not. But I know you are not in a condition to listen to the truth either. And if you think that your condition will make me forgive you then I am sorry... I am sorry I can't. I thought of ten thousand reasons to forget about what happened. I thought all night yesterday. I was not able to sleep at all, thinking, fighting, and struggling with my thoughts. But I am sorry, I can't-"

Tears started to fill his orbs. 

"I am sorry, I am not strong enough to forgive, I can't. I don't want you to hurt anymore, I don't want you to suffer like this anymore. But I don't want to stop hating you cause all this life, all my decisions and choices were made based on the trauma that you left in my life. And just one night won't change it so don't expect me to either cause I won't."

He stopped taking a breath, feeling a bit lighter after letting it out in front of the person who was the sole reason for his nightmares. All those countless rehearsals of 'what he'll say once he'd be meeting his dad' all those lines and thoughts. If he can sum up in any less painful words then this was it.
.
.
.
.
"Thank you." He looked at his dad with a shocked expression. His mind thought what if doctors altered his brain might as well while they were at it? 

"What?"

"Thank you, Taehyung, for not forgiving me. It took me a lot of courage to show my face in front of you all and to end up being forgiven just cause of my condition. I am also a man. I don't want forgiveness in the form of sympathy when I never did a single thing to deserve an ounce of it. It'll bug me till the day I die if you forgive me this easily. I am happy to hear your thoughts I can tell that they are genuine. You are my son after all, I know your feelings and the turmoil you went through before sharing your thoughts with me. It makes me feel that we are still close enough to share the pain, I am not someone who deserves to be loved. But hearing you today felt strangely comforting.