Sleepwalking // Sam Fender

9

"Mommy, mommy!" Beth was excitedly jumping up and down in my bed so that I woke up. "Santa's here! I heard him!"

"Did you?" I turned around, still with my eyes closed, trying to stay a few more seconds in bed.

"Mommy! Come on! Wake up!" She kept on jumping. I opened one of my eyes to look at her and I followed this by a tickle attack.

After that, we made our way downstairs into the living room. As she was about to start opening her presents, I reminded her that she should have breakfast first. This was welcomed with pouting and disappointment but she did as I told her. After breakfast, she started opening her presents which were around twenty (without having in mind those at Shirley's).

"Are you not going to open yours, mommy?" My daughter turned to ask me this question.

"Mine? Do I have a present?" I asked her.

"Yeah" She pointed at a small bag from Pandora which had 'Alice' written in it. I frowned, as I was not expecting any gifts.

I stood up and made my way to my only present while Beth continued to open hers.

"Dear Alice, Merry Christmas. It is our first together and I hope there are more to come. You told me not to get you anything but I came across this while shopping with Liam and I had to get it for you. Love, Sam"

Sam and I hadn't seen each other since the fight. I knew he was in London and recording a few songs as Shirley had told me about it. I had also bought a present for him but I never had the chance to give it to him.

Inside the small bag, I found two smaller cages. In the first one I opened, a heart-shaped ring could be found. The middle of the ring was crowned with a white sparkle. The other box contained a necklace with the letter 'S' and a heart in the same pendant. I could not contain a few tears from making their way down my face.

"Mommy? Are you okay?" Beth asked. I nodded, dried my face and turned around.

"Santa behaved well this year, uh?" Beth nodded energetically.

We spent the rest of the morning playing with her new toys and getting ourselves ready to go to Shirley's to have tea. It was supposed to be a small thing, just Beth, Shirley, Sam's brother and me. But a surprise awaited for me at Shirley's as well.

I knocked on the door while arguing with Beth, who was in my arms.

"I told you that you have to wear the dress because we're having dinner with the Fenders, love, and it is Christmas" I told her.

"But I don't like it" She yelled. I put a finger over my mouth to tell her to lower her tone as the door opened.

"Hey" It was Sam. Sam had opened the door and I stood there with simple blue and white dress and everything that he had gifted me. He did not take long to notice that I was wearing the necklace and ring. "Come in"

I came in with my daughter still in a mood that lasted until after we have greeted everyone. I sat down in the couch, with Liam (Sam's brother) in the middle and Sam sat opposite to me while the three of us stared at Beth as she played with some dolls. The three of us were in complete silence as the tension between Sam and I could be felt from miles.

"How was London?" Liam spoke up while the three of us were still staring at the front.

"Neat" Sam simply said. Liam looked at him and nodded.

"Well then" Liam stood up. "I am going to help mam with the cooking" He waited a few seconds to see if either Sam or I said anything but, as we didn't, he left.

The silence surrounding us got heavier and the tension made my chest sink. "You're not going to say anything then?" Sam said.

God, in that moment I remembered why I was doing alright with no man involved in my life. It seems as if men were made simply with the objective of being annoying.

"What do you want me to say?" I replied, to which Sam sighed.

"So, I told you that I loved you, I was given no answer, I spend a week in London without receiving any calls and now you're here with everything that I-that Santa got for you" Sam remembered halfway through the sentence that Beth was there but whenever she had dolls, she would get into her own world of fantasy.

I shrugged. "You didn't seem like calling each other this week anyways" Sam was now looking at me. A few seconds of silence followed my statement.

"I am going back to London tomorrow. The lads and I are not supposed to be up north but I guess everyone has family" Sam said.

"Why did you do it?" I asked.

"What?"

"This" I lift my right hand so he could see the ring he got me. Now it was his time to shrug.

"As I said, I love you" I looked at him. He looked as if he hadn't been sleeping enough for at least this past week. "I bought them before we went shopping together and I took my chance and left it there the last day I was at yours"

I nodded. Sam was about to open his mouth again but his brother and mom came into the room with enough food to feed the whole neighborhood.

"Tea time!" Shirley called.

After having dinner, we exchanged a few more presents from which I got one of my all-time favorite books (which I left in L.A when I moved) and a fancy dress. Shirley didn't have to tell me that Sam got the book for me, I told him non-stop about it. Weirdly enough, I drove Sam, Beth and I back to mines under the excuse that my house is closer to the station (complete lie that Sam came up with).

After Beth was sent to bed, Sam and I sat down in my couch. Silence was once again making its way into the scene.

"I'm sorry" Sam was the first to speak. I looked at him as he was looking to the floor. "I know you want the best for me and the lads and that's why you wanted me in London this week" He lifted his head and looked at me. "I never got a real Christmas with my mam and dad and all celebrating it together. I wanted to make sure that Beth had something better than I did" I nodded. My eyes became watery halfway through his confession.

"It's alright, I didn't need to act or speak the way I did" I admitted. "I want what it's best for you because Beth and I were going to be alright" A sad smile made its way into Sam's face.

"Hug?" Sam opened his arms. I smiled and sat down closer to him so that we could hug.

I had fallen for him. Hard. The thing is, after my divorce love wasn't really my thing anymore. Love never lasts anyway, does it? I could not simply tell him that I loved him too. I had someone else to think about when making decisions: Beth. I knew that she loved Sam to bits but getting him into the equation was going to confuse her even more. She already hated Essex enough to cry every single time she had to go with her father. I did not want to add up the fact that Sam and I were together.

"In another situation I would have said that I love you too" I admitted into Sam's ear as our hug came to an end.

"I understand, Alice. I'll wait for you" I shook my head.

"Sam, go look for someone else. You cannot wait forever"

"I can and I will. And in the meantime, I will make sure that you two are alright and I will try to regain your trust in men" I let out a small laugh. "No really, I'm not the guy you used to be married with"

"His name is Alex" I said. "He is in a band, you know. Never fall for artists, that's what my mother used to say. Shame on her, her own son ended up being in a band as well. Alex always prioritizes the music to anything. I get him, the music saved him and that but his fans could be a bit too much and he was not good at setting boundaries either. We were too young and it all went pretty fast I guess" I sighed.

"It's alright, we can take it easy. You're twenty-five, I'm twenty-two, we got plenty of time to be together, alright? So, let's just see where this goes. Whenever you're ready, we'll take a step forward together" I understood at that moment what Anne and Alexia meant when they said that Sam is a keeper.