Him

Tuesday, July 6, 3:27 pm (Present)

I almost passed out as those words stuck me in the back of the head like a baseball bat. I'm so shocked and angry at that moment that I don't know what to say. I was shocked that I forgot to cover it back up and even more angry that I forgot to cover it. How could I let this happen. I played a stupid game and I won a stupid prize. I just said what first came to my mind.
"What do you mean? I didn't know I had anything on my kneck." I was trying so hard not to shake, but there was only so much I could do.
"Right here," He says as he points to the hickey on my kneck, "it's like purplish-red."
"Oh." I said nervously, "Oh yeah, I dropped a coffee at work, and it splattered and burned me."
He gave me this look.
I can't describe the look.
But I've never seen it before.
The look of sudden sadness and disbelief.
"Why didn't I see this mark on your ealier." He says, completely changing his tone from earlier.
"Um..." What do I do? What do I say? "I covered it up with foundation at work so that people wouldn't keep asking me about it.
He gave me the look again.
I was holding back my tears.
Does he know it's a hickey.
"Are you...cheating on me?" He asks as he stares at me with these eyes that almost look dead or empty.
"What? Why would you think that? I told you I got burnt." He knows, doesn't he. I'm not going good at hiding the fact that I'm lying.
"I know what burns look like, and I know what hickies look like." I take a breath in to talk, but he cuts me off. "After EVERYTHING I've done for you, you to out and cheat on me. What did I to deserve this?!" He steps closer and I back up all the way until my backside is pressing against the counter. And that's when I smell it. The alcohol. He's been drinking. But he's never like this.
"Have you been drinking Alex."
"Don't try to change the conversation!" He yells. I flinch and I am generally terrified right now.
"I told you I didn't cheat so stop accusing me of something I didn't do!" I scream back at him.
He slaps me across the face.
I gasp and grip my face.
Tears start dripping down my face.
"Get out." I quietly say.
I dont...
I cant...
Im...
I...
The words are gone...
I don't know what to do...
I just stand here in shock...
"What did you just say to me." He says in a disgusted tone.
"Get out."
"Get out."
"Get out now!" I scream at him.
He looks shocked but also looks like he's about to hit me again...or worse.
I look up at him with dead serious eyes.
"You can't just tell me to leave. I live here too. I help pay the bills you don't just own me and this apartment. But yeah I'm sure you want me out so your new hoe can come live here you slutty whore."
That was it.
That was my breaking point.
A new side of me I didn't know existed came out within the next 3 seconds and right then and there...my life was about to change. I wasn't going to put up with this jealous piece of crap I let into my house.
I turn over quickly and grab a knife off the counter from when I washed dishes last night.
I pointed it directly at his kneck and he backed away so fast with his hands in the air.
"Woah, babe come on now, I'm sorry okay, I didn't mean to I just..."
I cut him off.
My voice got louder as the sentence came out of my mouth.
"I...said...GET...THE FUCK...OUT OF MY APARTMENT YOU JEALOUS BITCH! AND NEVER...EVER COME BACK...!"
He opened his mouth to speak but I just stept closer and screamed, "GET OUT!" for the final time.
He opened the door and slammed it shut as he left.
As soon as that door shut I dropped the knife on the floor and screamed. Tears streamed down my face faster than ever before and I sat there and cried for about 13 minutes. Standing up from my cradled position on the floor, I walked to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. I was a mess. My hair was all messed up. The tears swelled up my eyes and...
The mark.
My face was already turning different shades of red and purple where he hit me.
I didn't know he was abusive when I met him. Or up until now.
If I wouldn't have kicked him out than he might have done it to me again. I did the right thing. I need him. Not my ex boyfriend I just kicked out and threatened with a knife.
But Leo.
I need him more now than ever.
But he's not mine.
He was just a two time thing.
Then why can't I stop thinking about him.
I need to forget him and everything that has happened today.
I walked to my bedroom and layed in my bed.
Tears ran and soaked into the pillow. I eventually fell alseep.
I later woke up to eat something but went right back to sleep.
This day had the best start and the worst end.