Mischievous Function

Hi, Guys!

PRE-A/N: Hey! Thanks for checking this book out. A quick note before you start (feel free to skip if you want): this book actually isn't a standalone book. It's really a chapter of my main fanfic, "B.F.D. High," in book form. Why am I making a chapter of a fanfiction its own book, you ask? Because reading a 140,000-word chapter as a single gigantic wall of text frankly kinda sucks. So I'm dividing the chapter into several smaller sub-chapters and placing them in this book for your reading pleasure.

However, like the book says, I, like all other content creators, am a slave to the algorithm; therefore, I've scheduled new chapters of this book to come out twice a week. If that's too slow for you, the entire story is already available to read in B.F.D. High.

I know that some people were wondering why I didn't make this a standalone book (because it's literally longer than two Sherlock Holmes novels combined, look it up), but it's pretty much because 1) it IS more of a chapter than a book in the universe of B.F.D. High, and 2) I wanted to give readers of my main fic first access to the new chapter for a bit as a thank-you for putting up with my two and a half years of no updates.

Everything that comes after this pre-author's note will be copied and pasted exactly like it is in B.F.D. High (barring some typo fixes, grammar corrections (only in English because I don't speak Spanish, Japanese, or Indonesian and I had to use DeepL for those parts), miscellaneous formatting adaptations like line breaks, and other minor things). So if you're wondering why I refer to the book as a chapter throughout the story, that's why.

Also, this book IS only a part of a longer work, which means that if you haven't read B.F.D. High, then some bits and pieces of lore might be lost on you. (For example, you might not understand why Leafy, Firey, and Ruby are largely absent in this book or who Turbine and Honey are.) Read B.F.D. High to find out, if you'd like!

All right, that's enough from me. This sub-chapter and the last sub-chapter should be the only two chapters with author's notes, so you won't have to worry about them for the most part. Enjoy the book!

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A/N: Anytime is good? How about, uh...two and a half years later?

Oh, geez, it's been a while, huh? I haven't written an actual story since "Against the World," now that I think about it. "The Search" was just a random collection of events with a bit of lore, "Snow Fortress 2" and "B.F.D. High Literature Club!" were just low-effort parodies, and "The Fourth Wall 2" was a Q&A. Actually, now that I think about it, the majority of B.F.D. High was all written in THREE MONTHS, during the summer of 2020.

So I haven't completed an actual story in THREE FREAKING YEARS. I've been caught up in my side project and doing dumb stuff in my randomness books. Well, that changes today!

Here's hoping I'm not too rusty. I'm going all out on this one to make up for not really doing anything these past three years. References? Yes. Lore? You know it. Stupid, low-effort, shoestring tactics to get people to read my book? GET THAT OUTTA HERE! We're going all-out high effort fanfic writer on this one! And we're gonna start by bringing back a classic story starter!

I figured that we'd go ahead and pick things up again with a quick, short little ficlet. It's not that long, so it shouldn't take you guys too long to get warmed up to it. Just a tiny little something to get the old gears turning again, you know?

Anyway, here it is! Enjoy!

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FRIDAY

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"Hi, guys!" Two greeted as he opened the classroom door and walked into the room. X staggered in behind him, carrying a stack of envelopes twice his height and weight.

The fifty-five students turned to look at Two and waved. "Hi, Two!"

Four let out a loud, annoyed groan. "Two, can you stop interrupting my class?"

"Guess what?" he said, ignoring Four.

"What?" the class asked.

Two held up a sheet of paper. "The Summit, a vacation hotel and ski resort near Yoyle Mountain, is having a 10% off per night deal next week! Together with MePhone, we'll be taking you and I. High over there for a special trip, so let's all try to have fun, okay? Also, at the end of the week, they're having a special winter singing contest!"

"What do we get if we win?" Eraser asked.

"We'll get a prize!"

"...Which is?!"

"Um..." Two realized that he hadn't asked the owners of the hotel what the prize was yet. "...It's a surprise! But I promise, it's one-of-a-kind!"

The class started chattering excitedly.

"Now, now, class, I know that you're excited. So, I've made these information packets to help you. Here, you'll find things like what activities to do, where to visit, and what you should pack. X, please pass out the envelopes." X wobbled over to each desk and held out his stack of envelopes, requesting that they take one themselves since he was too short.

"Um...X, do you need help?" Taco asked worriedly.

"No...thanks...Taco!" he replied cheerily, still bending under the weight. Two seconds later, X tripped and nearly fell. By some miracle, he managed to keep the stack afloat. Taco stood up and took half the stack, to X's surprising relief. "Wow, thanks, Taco!" As they passed around the envelopes, Two walked up to the front of the room.

"You can do anything you want over there!" Two declared. "It has to be safe, not...you know...against the law. Other than that, feel free to do whatever!"

"Hey, Two," Cloudy said. "Can we travel in groups?"

"Hmmm..." Two thought. "You know what, sure! I'll accept groups of nine!"

"Two, it's a field trip, not a competition!" Four said. "Don't make them be in groups!"

"What?! No way! They need to stick together!"

"No, they don't!"

"Yes, they do!"

As the two teachers kept arguing, X finished passing out the envelopes and strode to them, separating them.

"Hey, you two, quit fighting!" he said. "I think we need to sing the friendship song together. Ready?" X inhaled and opened his mouth to sing.

"NO! STOP!" Two hastily yelled and covered X's mouth. "Optional groups are fine! Optional groups are...perfectly fine!"

"Yup! You don't have to sing!" Four added, chuckling nervously. "We've, uh, we've got it covered!"

"Good. I'm glad," X said.

"So, anyway, class." Two turned his attention back to the class. "I want to see lots of joy and fun memories next week!" He motioned for X to follow him out of the classroom. "Let's go, X."

"Okay!"

As they walked out of the classroom, everyone started talking with each other about what they were going to do and with who.

"HEY!" Four yelled. Everyone grew quiet and looked at him. "Quiet! Nobody is dismissed from this classroom until the bell rings, and it hasn't rung yet—"

RING-RING-RING-RING!

The class started talking and packing up their stuff to leave the classroom. Bell suddenly froze in place and put her hand on her head.

"Whoa...I just had a déjà vu."

Barf Bag, Tree, and Lightning turned to her and gasped. "No way! You, too?"