My soul's light - (Ciel x McMillan)

Destiny's letter

Ciel:

The sun shines through the carriage's curtains after a busy day. Sebastian hands me a letter with the name "McMillan" written on it.

I look the envelope in my hands. I'm indecisive: I should throw it away according to my standards but I don't want to. I tell to myself that it is just a simple letter. I put it in my pocket to read it when when I'll be back home.

This time in the Weston College was draining and interesting. I can finally return back home after solving the mystery of the dissappearance of Derek Arden.

My time here was supposed to be short, but I got caught in the game despite the mess it was. It is very electrifying to live in community this way. But I'm meant for the darkness and I shall not get away from it, I only came out of it under the queen's orders. This episode now belongs to the past. All these days, I live them on credit. I only live for one goal: finding the culprit who slaughtered my family, make them pay and restore the honor of my name: Phantomhive. Everything else is futile.

This letter has nothing to do with all of this. It's from McMillan, my roommate and best friend from the school. He was sad to see me leaving the school so he wrote me this letter. The Weston and its events remain to the past. I should not keep it, it's useless.

Regardless, I can't resist the temptation. I'll read it later.

Sebastian:

Humans are fascinating creatures, I'm never bored with them. This young Ciel Phantomhive is a very interesting specimen. Most of the humans i pacted with used my power to realize all of their fantasies and felt almighty. These souls were boring and flavorless. They took pleasure bullying others and having all the rights they wanted. This was so tiresome... That's why I became pickier about the quality of my food. And this one, Ciel Phantomhive, he's the opposite of everything I've known ever since. All the humans who escaped from imminent death enjoy their time as much as they can, since they don't have a lot more left because of the pact. But him, he persists to renounce to all sorts of things: social contact, friends, enjoying life. But on the other hand, he doesn't moderate himself with sweets... Humans are full of contradictions. He wants to isolate himself probably for avoiding bonding too much with people around him, but he continuously attract some strange birds. His soul is so special it attracts folks around him in spite of himself. It's very amusing to see. The more the time passes, the more he's surounded by people caring for him despite being against his goal: achieving his objectives in the shadows, out of sight. Didn't he undertsands he can't fight against it? That a soul like his continuously attracts people around him? He should enjoy it instead! It's incomprehensible. At the same time, he wants to imitate his dead brother and fake being selfish, proud and a loner, but he does the exact opposite. He's kind, humble and sympathetic. He tries to look the opposite but he constantly fails: he helps others without expecting anything in return, like how he helped Snake, Soma, Arthur and much more. He cares more about other than himself. He tries to do good things as much as he can around him but he completely forgot about his own happiness. But that's what he believes, he hides his personal goals behind his duty. For example, this toy brand, "Phantom", was not necessary at all, he said it's for honoring his family's name, but in reality, it's his childhood dream. Always burying his face in the sand... He should assume his desires, they are not that extravagant. All human need social contact, it's almost vital for them. Why does he wants to deprive himself so badly? Humans really are full of contradictions.

He holds in his hand the letter of his friend McMillan. Logically, he should throw it away without any hesitation, it's useless and futile. What's the interest of keeping it? But I see doubts in his eyes, he's split: he wants to keep this letter, but it goes against his principles of not bonding closely to anyone, but that's impossible for someone like him. Will he resist and throw the letter? Has this young McMillan did attract his attention this much? He could never see him again if he wanted to. He can just never answer to his letter. He will be too busy studying in the Weston College that he could never take contact again. Cut ties would be incredibly easy. Everything depends on this piece of paper, it's not like this clingy prince Soma. So? What are you going to do, young master?