When I was a child my mother was a 'great' mom in my eyes. Even if she would abuse me for little things like drinking the rest of the milk, I of course still loved her. The physical abuse went on until I was 11 then it turned in verbal abuse. She would tell me that I wasn't the 'daughter' she has always wanted but little did she know that I'm in the closet. I didn't know I was transgender until I was 9. I told her that she was right bc I'm not her 'daughter' anymore. She ended up telling that she 'supports' me whenever I know she really doesn't, the worst part is that for about 2 to 3 months I believed her. But when I'd ask for permission to get small things to help me transition she would say no all bc she believes that sertain things will happen if I did things to my body. She wouldn't let me get a binder bc she says "it'll give you breast cancer" I told her it doesn't and she told me "if you look it up on Google and if it says it doesn't then I'll buy you one" I said ok and then began to look up 'does chest binders give you breast cancer' after reading for about 15-20 minutes I read it out loud and it said doesn't hurt my body other than if I wore it too tight it would of caused skin irritation and difficulty breathing but other than that no. She ended up becoming physically and mentally abusive to me. So one day I decided to try and end it bc of her and I was very miserable. She caught me in the act with my older brother and ended up taking what I was gonna use and then she slapped me in the face and started yelling at me screaming "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THIBK YOUR DOING" and other things like that then after that she started saying things 'as a joke's saying she was going to beat my ass until I could sit down, well she started doing that and also would force me to sit down until it didn't hurt and then she would repeat that until she was tired. It would go on for at least 2 hours to 3 and a half hours. One day I found out about self harm and I tried it. So I kept on doing it when I was mad at her or sad until it became an addiction.
