Orderly Chaos

Tragic Pasts

Ram drove to Kapoor Mansion after dropping Katha. She was strikingly different from the people he had met in his life. She held a certain sadness behind her smile. Her eyes seemed lifeless to him. Ram was taken aback by his observation of her. How had he managed to decipher her emotions? How was he able to read her so well? Then, it hit him. She reminded him of himself. Putting on a mask for the world. Hiding the pain and grief behind a smile. Ram felt his throat go dry and his heart grow heavier. He chugged down a bottle of water to calm his nerves. He chose not to dwell on it further and focused on his driving instead.

Upon reaching home, Ram was welcomed with complete silence and darkness. He let out a sigh. He chided himself for having any expectations at all. He was used to it but that didn't mean it hurt any less. He loosened his tie and took off his blazer while proceeding to his room in the darkness. He turned on the lights in his room. He flung the blazer on the couch and sat on the bed with a thump. He ran his fingers through his hair to relieve him of some stress but it did nothing to soothe him. A feeling of uneasiness crept over him. He grabbed the box of anxiety pills from his nightstand and chugged them with water. He took a cold shower and changed into his pyjamas.

"Well now, what should I cook for dinner?" he questioned himself. He proceeded to the kitchen and skimmed through the contents of the refrigerator. "Broccoli, kale, zucchini, lettuce, avocado, spinach. Ugh. Ah, chicken dear, come to Dadda," he exclaimed. He took out the chicken breasts and marinated them thoroughly. He stir-fried the veggies, adding a few spices and soy sauce. He proceeded to cook the marinated chicken breasts. The aroma of spices wafted through his nose. Safe to say, Ram's mouth watered. He hummed a 90s song whilst scrolling on his phone. He checked his schedule for the next day. "Aw man, five back-to-back meetings tomorrow! Oh no, make that six - I've got one with the architect as well," he complained.

Ram was mindlessly scrolling through his Facebook when he stumbled upon an old picture of him and Vedika. She was dressed in a crimson, satin dress. Her hair was pinned in a bun, with a few strands dangling around her ears. Ram stood beside her in a black tuxedo, his curls more prominent than usual. She was laughing at some stupid joke he'd cracked while his hand intertwined with hers. He still remembered the day as if it was just yesterday. Her sweet laughter echoed in his ears. Her eyes lit up every time she looked at him. The tender kiss she'd placed on his stubbled cheek still lingered.

Ram wept bitterly. Her absence had left a gaping void in his being. Even breathing seemed a daunting task to him. But he had promised her and he meant to honor it till his dying breath.

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Katha found Aarav asleep on the bed with his thumb in his mouth. She sat beside him and threaded her hand through his hair. "I love you, my darling," she said, placing a tender kiss on his forehead. She thanked her neighbour, Pramila profusely for looking after Aarav whilst she was away. She deposited the box of goodies in the refrigerator and took a hot shower. She warmed up the leftover khichdi (lentil rice) on the stove and wolfed it down. She changed into her night clothes and got into bed beside Aarav. She took out her laptop and switched it on. The screen displayed a picture of her, Yash and toddler Aarav on the beach.

"Yash, hold Aaru by his bum," Katha ordered while trying her level best to click a good photograph. Yash held Aarav, one hand under his butt and the other, across his chest. Aarav chose exactly that moment to poop in his diaper, letting out a loud fart in the process. Katha and Yash stared at each other and burst out laughing.

"I'll get him cleaned up," Yash laughed, grabbing the bag of toiletries and making his way to the diaper-changing station. Katha plopped down on the beach mat, running her hands through the soft, grainy sand. She plugged in her earphones and put on her hat and sunglasses. Within minutes, she dozed off.

She woke up to find Aarav perched on her tummy, making gurgling sounds. Yash was beside her, reading a novel. She scooped up Aarav in her arms and nudged her husband. "Let's take a picture." Yash requested a couple to snap a picture of them. They obliged. Yash stood behind Katha, hugging her and Aarav, who was in Katha's arms. "I love you," he whispered in her ear and planted a sloppy kiss on her temple. "I love you too," she grinned and placed a kiss on his jaw.

*snap*

Tears rolled down Katha's eyes. She tried to muffle her cries so Aarav wouldn't wake up. When it all got a little too much, she rushed to the bathroom and locked the door from the inside. With a hand over her mouth, she let out a gut-wrenching cry. "Where are you, Yash? I miss you. I need you here," she sobbed incessantly. A pit formed in her stomach, her heart felt hollow and her throat went dry. She splashed cold water on her face and wiped off the residual water with a face towel. The feeling of uneasiness didn't go away. Katha felt like an imposter in her own body. She grabbed her meds from the bathroom cabinet and swallowed two - one for anxiety and another a sleeping pill - with water. She stared at her reflection in the mirror - she looked exhausted. Minutes later, the medicines kicked in, making her feel at ease. She got into bed, kissed Aarav's head, and turned off the lights promptly.