The next two days go by in a similar manner. One would think that it gets easier with each passing day, the body and mind maybe realizing that now is not the time for slacking off but it doesn't, in fact it's the exact opposite.
It's already way past 11pm on Wednesday when they can finally jump into the two vans and start their drive home. While half of the boys are already sleeping, even though they have to wake up again in order to get inside the dorms, Minho realizes that he won't make it until Friday without at least slipping once. The headache having developed into a permanent companion and the fuzzy feeling of his headspace consuming him as soon as he sits down.
He leans his head on the window in the hopes of already getting a few minutes of sleep and ending the day but instead the shaking and bumping of the car on the road is only increasing his headache. He lifts his head again and looks at the three other boys; Jeongin resting his head on Seungmin's shoulder and Seungmin resting his head on the window, both boys seem to be sleeping already. Felix on the other hand looks like he is forcefully trying to stay awake, probably trying to avoid having to wake up again as soon as they reach the dorms.
Asking one of them is out of the question for Minho. Maybe he could go to the other dorm and ask Chan? But then again, their car is probably looking the same right now. And when he thinks about the last time he slipped and how he apparently cried for the majority of that time, he's pretty sure that that's exactly what will happen the next time he slips as well.
And with it being already so late and them having to get up way too early the next day, he decides that he can't bother Chan with a crying little for the rest of the evening and stealing away the few hours of sleep they are granted.
When the car stops in front of their dorm, Minho carefully wakes up the two maknae's next to him, Jeongin just looks at him for a minute like he's out of his mind for waking him up now before realizing that he's still in the car and not in his bed. After rather stumbling out of the car and into their dorm it takes only two minutes for everyone to disappear into their rooms and fall into their bed. Shoes and bags remaining on the floor next to Minho in the corridor.
The moment the front door closed behind him, he sunk to the ground, his legs no longer holding him up and the pain of his headache coming back in full force. He can't really blame the other three for not noticing him there with them being more asleep than awake and immediately disappearing in order to finally sleep but with the privacy of their dorm Minho feels nearly crushed with the need to slip into his headspace and he wants nothing more than for someone to come back and hold him.
On the verge of tears, he slowly pushes himself up again, stumbling and having to hold onto the wall when he sees black spots covering his vision. The only thing on his mind right now is to at least make it into his own room before giving in.
As soon as the door of his room clicks shut behind him, the first tears start to run down his cheeks barely holding it together anymore he stumbles towards his bed, letting himself fall forward when his legs touch the bedframe. The moment his body lands on the soft mattress it's over for him, his headspace crashes down on him and before he can even think about preventing it, he finds himself full on sobbing into his pillow.
Everything hurts, it's dark, he can't find his plushie and worst of all he's alone.
Even though he definitely slipped, he doesn't feel the comforting and relaxing feeling like he normally would, instead he finds himself overwhelmed, shaking and anxious. The stress from the last weeks still not leaving him alone. His breathing comes out harsh and irregular and with his face still pushed into the pillow, in order to not wake anyone up, it gets increasingly hard to get in enough air. He doesn't know how long he lays there but eventually he feels himself calming down a little and with his sobs not loudly breaking through the silence of the room anymore he angles his head to the side now finally being able to breathe freely.
The little brings his thumb to his mouth in the hope of finding some comfort. It doesn't really work out because now, with him not only focusing on getting enough air, it becomes scaringly clear that everything is dark and he is all by himself.
"B-Baba?" a small sob leaves his mouth.
He wants his Baba to hold him and tell him that everything is going to be alright. But he's asleep in the other dorm and so is everyone else. A big yawn interrupts his spiraling thoughts and the little realizes how tired and exhausted he actually feels.
Now, the problem with that is that he first of all needs his plushie in his arms and then, that he always gets a goodnight kiss from either his Baba or one of the other members before being tucked into bed.
The first problem can be solved. He shakily pushes himself up and more or less falls from the bed on the hard ground. Normally the little would stand up but with the exhaustion and pain weighing down on him, walking feels like a thing only big-Minho can do, so he falls back to crawling across the room towards his wardrobe. Upon arriving he pulls himself up on the handles and manages to open the drawer.
Why did he even shove the damn plushie in the last corner of his wardrobe? Its actual spot being in the corner of his bed but after it got increasingly hard to avoid his little space and seeing the plushie only making it harder he had decided to ban the little guy from his bed until he could slip again.
Out of sight, out of mind; or something like that. Clearly it wasn't too successful and at least now he regretted it even more because with how uncoordinated the little is in the dark it takes way too long for his liking to find the ear of the bunny and pull it out under a batch of hoodies. As soon as he had him, he lets himself plop down to the ground again with a small huff.
"Sowwy, Min's s-sowry for putting Bun-Bun away" the little sobs into the fur of the white bunny plushie, "luv you lots, never again".
He looks towards the bed again, wanting nothing more than to just sleep. It's so far away. Stuffing the ear of the bunny into his mouth and lightly sucking on it the little decides to just sit here for a moment and wait until he feels brave enough to start the way towards his bed.
With the bunny in his arms and his body feeling even more tired after all the crying he doesn't realize how he closes his heavy eyelids or how his head slowly tips backwards before rolling to the side and staying there.
YOU ARE READING
Little Lino
Fanfiction"Comeback seasons are hard. Minho gets painfully aware of that when he finds himself struggling to stay big between interviews, performances and dance practice. But one can only last so long and Minho's afraid of the moment he finally allows himself...
