may i stand unshaken [Arthur Morgan × OC]

Chapter 9

The sky was shrouded in blackening clouds. The day was tending to a cold evening, which turned into a restless night. Before dusk, the snowdrifts glittered dazzlingly under the frequent rays of the sun, and now a furious wind has risen again, and the snow has fallen with such density that in the first minutes nothing could be made out from outside the dilapidated wooden house, in which only one meager candle was burning, touching the gloomy shadows with a dull yellow flicker. The wind outside was howling mournfully, which caused little Jack to put his hands over his ears, snuggling closer to Abigail. These sounds seemed to him to be terrible groans, similar to human sobs. Sometimes a child's fantasy was frightening.

I shuddered, pulling my jacket tighter around me, bending almost in half. I looked at the burning candle, which, it seems, miraculously still gave at least some light. On the right side, clinging to me with her whole body, sat the silent Karen, and on the left, Tilly and Mary-Beth were timidly sheltering, to whom I smiled amiably to try to relieve the girls from the heavy tension that hung palpably in the air that even a light candle flame touched it in an attempt to burn it. Susan threw thick blankets over us that the gang had taken with them on the road, and forced us to cling to each other even harder to somehow keep the remaining warmth. Pearson was trying to make a ragout out of what Charles somehow got in such a blizzard. Some time ago, Dutch sent John and Micah to look for supplies or other possible housing where it would be more comfortable than here. A strange choice. It was possible to send someone else with John. Those guys are complete opposites, and most likely don't get along with each other. As it turned out, a lot of time had already passed, and therefore the leader of the gang decided to take Arthur and go in search of him. Anything could happen in such a blizzard, and we didn't want to lose more people. Having overheard the conversation, I carefully threw off the blankets, straightening them on the girls who were dozing next to me, and came closer.

– May I come with you? – I asked cautiously, rubbing my frozen hands.

– You'd better stay here, – Arthur glanced at me briefly and waved his hand.

– Please, – lowering my voice, I turned to Dutch, who, with an annoyed sigh, looked from me to the man next to me. – I need to unwind and do something. I can't just sit there and wait for nothing.

– Ask Susan, and she'll find something for you to do, since there's nothing else to do, – Morgan said, pointing his finger in the opposite direction.

– Are you sure? – gang leader asked quietly, lowering his head to me. – The weather's not good there at all, Joe.

– Dutch! – growled Arthur, exhaling displeasure through clenched teeth.

– I'm sure, – I nodded in agreement, feeling a stern gaze on my face, which I studiously ignored.

Morgan indignantly spread his hands, as if asking Dutch a dumb question, and the latter only shrugged his shoulders and waved his head towards the door. I think Arthur wanted to protect me. Yes, not only me, but the whole gang, probably, if any of these girls approached him with such a request, he would also be against it. However, at least something inside wanted to believe that he had a special relationship with me. But at the same time, Arthur understood that he had no right to stand in front of me and my decisions, so with a heavy sigh, muttering something to himself, he followed us outside. And I also felt behind my back how much Morgan had wanted to ask me something, namely about Richard, for the last few days and hours, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. I felt strange and awkward, just like him. And there was nothing we could do about it. There were too many unspoken words between us and those that could not be uttered.

Outside, the wind immediately threw icy snow in our faces. The snowdrifts almost touched the knees, and the fabric under the seemingly dense shoes was already filthily wet. Dutch was holding a flashlight in one hand, and I wasn't sure if he would have helped us in any way. Arthur decided that John and Micah had gone further into the mountains, and I could hardly hear anything he said over the roar of the wind. We saddled the horses, and Ringo seems to have been trained for so much time of his life with me, so he was able to withstand such temperature changes. But I don't think I've been trained. Wrinkling my face, trying to close my eyes from the inclement weather, held the reins with one hand and even through the snowfall I saw Arthur's look, meaning: "So, are you satisfied? Do you like it?". No, I don't like it, and I was even ready to go back, but pride prevented me from making the right choice, so I stubbornly trudged on horses through high snowdrifts.