I'm here

Chapter 1

All he could was stare at himself. His reflection stared back him and bore the same expression, dread and exhaustion. He didn't even recognize himself anymore. Running his hands down his waist he examined his belly, twisting and turning his body to inspect it at all angles. He prodded it and massaged it and tried to compare it to how it looked a few days ago.

"Has it gotten bigger?" he asked himself.

He wanted to ask someone, anyone for their opinion. He needed to know if his belly had grown since... since... Sideswipe cringed as the very thought made him physically ill and he felt the need to purge his tanks as the bile rose up his intake. He held it in but coughed violently, wiping away some excess oral fluids.

"Isn't purging tanks a sign of...?" Sideswipe began to panic and inspected his gut again. It had gotten bigger, it must have.

His feet moved on their own as he strode towards where his father Bumblebee was setting up some security wires around the perimeter of the base. Bumblebee saw him coming and stood up, his face full of concern. "Sideswipe, shouldn't you be resting?" he said, his tone softer than normal.

Sideswipe suppressed a growl but his face did form a snarl. "I've rested enough," he muttered, "I just need you to tell me if it... if my..."

Bumblebee seemed to already know what the question was as it was the only question Sideswipe asked him of late. "Sideswipe you are NOT carrying," he declared, "you're just over reacting."

"OVER REACTING!?" shrieked Sideswipe, his face twisting into an expression of rage.

Bumblebee cringed at the poor choice of words. "I-I'm sorry Sideswipe, but-"

However Sideswipe had it up the sky with how he was being treated. "You weren't the one who was attacked," he snapped bitterly, "you weren't the one who was treated like a sex toy for hours! You didn't even bother to comm me! You all just sat here whilst I was used over and over again!"

Bumblebee looked hurt and his face was full of guilt. "We would have gotten there if we knew," he weakly protested.

"Well you didn't," barked Sideswipe, "and now I could be-" before Sideswipe could finish he retched and violently purged his tanks. It took him by surprise and he fell to his knees, coughing and sobbing as warm fluids were forced out of his intake. His frame shuddered as the last of it gushed out of his throat and into the puddle beneath him. He heaved heavily as a loose tear ran down his face and he spat out the remains of the foul fluids in his mouth. Before he could get up he felt a hand on his shoulder and he instantly slapped it away and stood back up. "Don't ever touch me," he spat before bolting off.

He ran into a secluded area of the scrapyard and slumped against a wall, sliding down until his rear hit the floor and he buried his head into his arms. He hated this. He hated the way everyone treated him like a fragile doll. He hated this disgusting feeling that was present all over his body. He never asked for any of this. It was just plain unfair.

Only a few days ago Bumblebee was lecturing him on how to be a team player, Strongarm was telling him off for failing to file his patrol report, Fixit was trying to warm up to him with geeky chit chat and Grimlock wanted to play a game with him with dangerous junk. Those days he desperately wanted back, he took them all for granted. Now Bumblebee was giving him pep talks that didn't work, Strongarm was desperately trying to be sweet to him, Fixit tried to keep his hopes up in weird and bizarre ways and Grimlock wouldn't stop showering him with junk he called gifts. Sideswipe despised the pity they were trying to force on him. All of them putting on this false show of love and affection in an attempt to hide their true feelings.