Irrevocably

20 | Rose Luxe

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Hooriya

As difficult as it gets to wake up at that time, I cannot deny that there's something soothingly calm about Fajr prayer. Sitting there on the jayi-namaaz (prayer mat) in the silence of the pre-dawn, relaxed the soul in a way that cannot be described in words.

But as I held up my hands in dua, I stared at the intricate dark mehndi designs on my hands, and tears automatically filled my eyes as a strange fear gripped me. Ya Allah, give Rida Phupho good health and a quick recovery. Ameen. 

I wasn't selfish. I knew and understood- and agreed with- the priorities. But the fear was getting stronger by the moment. I stood up, and a thought occurred to me that this would have been my first Fajr prayer with him had things gone differently.

Oh, shut up, Hoor. Grow up. He didn't jilt you! His Phupho had a heart attack!

I folded the prayer mat and placed it into the wardrobe, before taking the dupatta off my head, and slipping the abaya off from over my night-suit. Placing both items in the wardrobe as well, I headed back to bed.

For a while I just lay there, staring blankly up at the ceiling as the darkness slowly faded away, letting through glimpses of light from the cracks in the curtains.

"Tumhari wajah se kisa ka dil toota hai. Tumhara bhi tootay ga." Zareena's words had made a home in my mind, and like squatters, they refused to leave.

*"Because of you someone's heart broke. Your heart will break too."

And as sleep slowly engulfed me in its comforting grip, the shadows of nightmare yanked me roughly, with a face haunted me even as I slept: eyes heavily adorned by eyeliner, dark red lips, mane of wild brown locks, pale face and that dark robe.

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I woke up a few hours later and as I turned off the alarm on my phone, I saw an email from Lena Brooklyn, the lecturer who would be training me from September.

To: Hooriya Rehan

From: Lena Brooklyn

Subject: English Workshops!

Dear Hooriya, 

I am writing to invite you to the English workshops we will be hosting during the next few weeks, for first year students joining our course from September!

I have attached the details to this email, but if you want, you can come and see me in my office today between 12:00-14:00, and we can further discuss this.

This would be a good opportunity for you to get to know your colleagues, and find out further about the course.

Please reply via this email or on WhatsApp on my number.

Kind regards,

Lena Brooklyn

I had known about these workshops. Lena had mentioned them to me before, but I didn't think I would be attending with the wedding and all. I knew that, naturally, the Valima was going to be cancelled today. I could visit Farhaan's family with my parents to ask about Rida Phupho, and then go to university later?