almost | taylor swift au

chapter 25

Taylor and Gracie eat the picnic that they packed as they sit on the beach, watching the sun set to close out a great day. They had so much fun. They giggled as each tried to top each other on how far they could go in the cold water. They took lots of pictures together. They sat in the sun and read, played fetch with Weenie, walked along the boardwalk, getting so lost in the conversation and company that they didn't even realize how far they walked until they ended up in Santa Monica . It was all just a perfect day.

Until the tide starts to come in. The waves pick up, crashing against the sand stretching out in front of them.

It triggers something in Taylor's memory. She thinks about the last time she sat, so calmly listening to the waves. It causes a knot in the pit of her stomach.

She tries to calm herself, tries to take a deep breath and hide it from Gracie. It's been such a great afternoon. She doesn't need to spoil it with her emotions.

But she doesn't manage to conceal it. Gracie notices almost immediately that something is wrong and inquires what that might be.

"It's stupid," Taylor tells her. "I don't want to trauma dump on you."

"Never," Gracie tells her. "What's wrong? If you don't want to talk about it, I get it, but I really think you'd feel better if you get it off of your chest."

Taylor lets out a sigh. She throws her head back, looking up at the red sky above her. At the puffy clouds that decorate the sunset. "It really is dumb, but when I was in Miami a few months back... we had this gorgeous hotel that was right on the beach, with this wonderful balcony. You could leave your door open and hear the waves, so we all did. That hotel room... it was where Jett and I..." She bites her lip. She can't bring herself to say it. So instead, in a small voice, "It was my first time."

Gracie frowns. "Oh... Taylor, I'm so sorry."

"No, no, it's okay," Taylor says, reaching up and rubbing her eyes. "It was really special, he was great, it's just a hard memory now."

"I get it," she nods. She puts her arm around her friend's shoulders and pulls her into a side hug. "It's okay to be hurt, you know? It's okay to feel all of your feelings, and I know that you're in a delicate state right now, so as many fun things as I've got planned, if you need to slow down, take a break, or just stay inside and eat junk food and watch Mamma Mia, you just tell me, alright? Whatever you need so that you can heal."

Taylor silently nods, resting her head on Gracie's shoulder. Their snuggles are totally platonic, but it feels nice to Taylor. They stay there for a moment before Gracie whispers to Taylor, "Do you need to leave?"

"No," Taylor tells her. "It's gorgeous out here. It's peaceful. I want to think of this day the next time that I hear waves like that, not what happened in that hotel room between me and him."

"Then we'll stay as long as it takes to rewrite that memory," Gracie assures her.

"He's throwing this big party the day after the tour finishes. It's gonna be this ridiculous thing, everyone's gonna be super drunk," Taylor blurts. She lets out a sigh. "It's why I've got a full day in LA the day after the last show instead of flying out as soon as we were done. I was supposed to go... and I was never technically disinvited, but I just can't be in the same place as him. Not when I don't have to be. I can't do it, I can't go."

Gracie squeezes her friend's hand. "And you don't have to. We're going to find something even more fun to do that day. You won't even be thinking about that stupid party."

It isn't long before the sun has gone to sleep and the moon has come out to play for the night, the stars twinkling beside it. They reflect off of the water and it's truly gorgeous. The breeze comes off of the ocean and runs through their hair, bringing chills to the girls as it hits their faces. They have sundresses on to cover their swimsuits, with beach towels wrapped around their shoulders. But it's still chilly.