Our Handshake (Arthur Morgan X Reader)

IV: Why do I feel this way

Blackwater
1881
Four years later

Since Arthur has been here it's been good. Arthur is eighteen now and that means that he gets to go out and do more outlaw activities if you will. Before it was just stealin horses, distracting people while poppa and Hosea did the robbing. But now, now Arthur gets to use a gun and help with robbing. The last two years the only time either of us got to hold a gun was when we were learning to hunt. I'm seventeen, for me that means staying here doing "the women's work" the cooking, cleaning, washing, drying, sewing, and cleaning wounds. I wanted to be out doing what the men were doing, but EVERYONE in camp said no and that I was too young and or I was a young lady, I need to be here where it was safe. I didn't want to be a woman that did all the work at home! I wanted to be out there helping make...or steal the money! I'm gonna get my chance one day.

Besides that being a negative, the positive was that Arthur and I have been good friends for four long years now. But I've started to notice something. Whenever I'm around him I get this weird feeling in my stomach. My face gets hot. I haven't told anyone about this not even my momma and I tell her or Arthur everything. Today was the day where I had that feeling of butterflies in my stomach and my face was turning a bright pink. I was doing my damnedest to hide what I was feeling from anyone and everyone. All I was doing was helping momma sew me a pair of pants. Since I had gotten older I had lost interest in wearing dresses. They would get in my way too often. I had convinced poppa to get me some (f/c) boots from town, so momma started making pants ever since. As I was sewing in a pocket to my almost finished pants, I looked up to see Arthur finish cleaning his face and put his hat on. I stared in awe. Arthur had grown into a very handsome young man, but I wouldn't say that out loud. When him and I would be talking I wouldn't be looking at him. I'd be looking at the ground or past him. I couldn't look him in his beautiful blue eyes because if I did I would lose my train of thought. When I wasn't paying attention, momma looked up at me because I wasn't responding to her asking me what I had planned for the day. She looked in the direction I was looking, and she knew immediately what was going on. She laughed and said, "Good morning Arthur, how'd you sleep?" This snapped me out of my trance. I blushed harder than before and went back to sewing before Arthur could see I was staring. Hearing my mother call his name, made Arthur come walking over. "Mornin' Annabelle, I slept okay, I was woken up in the middle of the night by Hosea's snorin' but other than that it was good. What are you two doin'?" Arthur said looking between me and my mother. I was not going to answer him right now. I couldn't, my voice would be all shakey and I'd sound like a broken record. "Oh nothin' just sewing Y/n some new pants. Where are you off too lookin' so handsome?" Momma asked him. At this I looked up and noticed that Arthur has his cleanest clothes on. "Oh I'm just going into town to see this girl I've been talking to. Maybe I'll bring her back here for everyone to meet. Maybe you and her might become friends." He said looking at me. At this point I could feel my heart shatter into millions of pieces. But I couldn't let him see that my eyes were starting to water, so I looked back down at my pants, letting my hair fall down in my face before I responded. "Yeah...maybe..." I said trying my best to hide my feelings. Me doing this confused Arthur. Normally I would be happy to hear that Arthur was going out on an adventure but this time. I was distant and quiet, only speaking two words. "Alright, well I'll be back soon." He said to me and my mother while walking away but only my mother responded. "See you later be careful out there." Arthur got on his horse and rode away.

My mother turned to me and frowned but I didn't look up. "Y/N what's the matter? You were fine one second and then the next you're upset, barely speaking a word. When Arthur mentioned meeting with-" She paused realizing what was going on. "Oh sweetheart. Look at me." I could hear the pity and sadness in her voice. I looked up at her and she saw the tears running down my cheeks. She put her hand on my cheek. "I understand now. I know you're hurting but you're both young and you were bound to find someone eventually. But I want you to remember that this pain you're feeling is only temporary, it will pass with time." She said as she hugged me and gave me a squeeze. "I know momma but for some reason it just...hurts." "I know baby, it'll pass." She said as she let me go. "Is it okay if I take a break from the pants for now? I need a minute." I asked, getting up from where I was sitting. "Of course dear. Where will you be going?" She asked but she already knew the answer. "It's a secret." I said as I began my journey up the hill.

~Time Skip~
Arthur's POV ((😲))

I was on my way back to camp with Mary on the back of my horse. I couldn't wait to introduce her to everyone, especially my best friend. Arriving at camp, I got off and helped Mary down. She looked around and looked back at me with a look I had never seen her make before. "Well this is not what I expected." She said. Not knowing what she meant by that I introduced her to Hosea first who nodded his head and took her hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you Mary." He said with a polite smile. She took her hand from him, "Nice to meet you too." She said. We walked over to Dutch and Annabelle. "Dutch, Annabelle, this is Mary, the girl I've been telling you about." I said with a smile as they each took her hand one at a time. "Nice to finally meet you Mary. I've heard a lot of good things about you." Dutch said as he winked. "It's nice to meet you Mary." Annabelle said with a smile but I could tell she was hidin' something. "It's nice to meet you as well." Mary said smiling at Annabelle. "Annabelle where's Y/N? I want her to meet Mary. Maybe they could be best friends." I asked her, looking around the camp, noticing that Y/N's tent was open but she wasn't in there. Annabelle gave me a sad look and said, "It's a secret." Her, Y/N and I were the only ones that knew what this meant. I looked up at the hill and I could barely see her but she was there. This meant that something was wrong. I guided Mary to my tent and told her to sit tight and that I would be right back.

I made it to the top of the hill to see that Y/N was sitting with her back against the tree, knees to her chest. Her head resting again her arms. Yeah, something's up. "Hey." I said lightly as to not startle her. "Hi" she said quietly. She didn't even lift her head to look at me. Did I do something? "What are you thinkin' about?" "Nothin'" This is the least I've heard her talk in the four years that I've known her. Something is definitely bothering her. "Come on, you can tell me. We're supposed to be best friends, we tell each other everything." At this I noticed her eyes start to water. "That's the problem Arthur! We're supposed to be best friends! That's why I can't tell you! So, if you don't mind, I'd like to be alone, please..." She said with tears running down her cheeks. "Alright, I'll be done at the fire for a bit, when you're ready to come down." I said getting up. She didn't say another word, so I began walking back down the hill.

When I got to the bottom Annabelle was looking at me so I walked over to her. "How's she doin'?" She asked looking at me waiting for me to respond. "She's cryin'. She won't tell me what's wrong. How long has she been up there?" I asked. "Since you left to go get Mary so I'd say about two and a half hours." She said looking at me with that sad look in her eyes. I know she knows what's wrong but I don't think she's gonna tell me. "I told her that she could tell me anything and that she's my best friend, but that only upset her more." Annabelle looked at me with wide eyes and shook her head. "Oh Arthur, you'll know what's wrong soon enough." "So you do know what's wrong." "I do, but that's not my place to tell you. If she didn't tell you up there, maybe she'll tell you eventually or you'll have to find out on your own." She said as she walked past me to go up the hill to get Y/N to come down and meet Mary. What could I have done to make Y/N so upset. I've never seen her cry. It must be really bad.