HER SWEET CRIES. GXG.

chapter1: early mornings

ROSE...

I stare at my ceiling as i try to fall asleep. The wind brushing against my window being the only sound audible in the room.

I snuggle deeper under my blankets trying to find a somewhat comfortable position and continue my quest on trying to fall asleep.

I miss my mother snuggling me up comfortably in bed, she is my most precious. I miss her to bits.

I live alone in a somewhat big apartment, being honest it's huge for someone who lives alone.

I left home after highschool, i had gotten a bursary to study abroad, i am a South African female, 26 years of age, living in a luxiourious- as my mother says- apartment,alone, in New york. I had been living away from South Africa for 9 years now. And i am pretty stable in finances, but one can never have too much money...right..??.

I have to get up early tomorrow as i have a job interview to go to, but as expected my nerves are getting the best of me. I hate panicking, it shows a sense of weakness and instability. I have been told i have a poker face, and i frankly was never offended by that.

I wake up to the excruciatingly loud sound of my alarm clock chimming, 'i have to throw that thing away, urrggg it's annoying the shit out of me'.

As i turn around to try and fall back asleep, the alarm on my phone starts going off, 'urrgg... I'm up!! I'm up!!'.

I drag myself out of my warm and cuddly blankets as i dread living right now. Why do i have to this again.??... oh yeah i know now... "i want to be a stable,strong and independent woman who does not depend on anyone but herself...and live my most comfortable life not expecting help from anyone, but accepting it respectfully when it's offered." Urrgg what was i even thinking when i made that promise to myself, this mantra is so pushy it's annoying me at this point.

I fucken despise early mornings.