Ever Since New York [h.s au]

07

"Do I need to do this for you?" I looked down at the phone and the business card on the counter.

Harry was pulling his hair back into a bun. While he appreciated the waves that came from my braiding, he felt more comfortable with his knotted but perfect curls. He washed it again Sunday night after he left my apartment.

I knew the idea of actually showing these songs to Jeff was terrifying. I'd be going through a complete depressive episode if I was sending a draft of my novel to an agent or a publisher. It was the same thing with these two songs. Harry and I had poured our hearts into them. We loved them and had happy memories with them. The second someone else listened to them and told us they weren't good enough, I had a feeling Harry wasn't ready for that kind of rejection.

This is why I forced him to come to my apartment, to sit across from me at the kitchen counter. Like we'd done countless times before. The phone in between us, and I wanted it on speakerphone.

He dropped his hands to the counter, "No, no. I can do it."

I grabbed his hand, stopping the shaking I'd noticed. "It's just to set up a meeting, it's going to be okay. I'll be here the entire time."

He had a grateful look in his eyes. "Right."

Finally, he dialed the number and pressed call.

"Jeff Azoff," the vaguely familiar voice filled the small kitchen.

"Hi Jeff, it's Harry Styles. You gave me your card after an open mic night."

There was a laugh on the other end of the line, "Thank God, please tell me you have some songs for me, Harry. I've been waiting for your call."

Harry's head shot up, his chest beamed. "You have?"

I knew it, I mouthed to my talented friend.

"Of course I have. Let's set up a meeting for some time this week."

I sat back, hands covering my mouth in awe as Harry and Jeff talked for twenty minutes. They planned a meeting, discussed a bit of the songs, and then just had some friendly chatting as if they'd known each other for years.

Afterward, Harry asked if I wanted to come to the meeting. I explained that this was his album, but they were our songs. I wanted to stay behind the scenes. This was his moment, and I wanted it to be something just for him. I also mentioned I'd picked up a shift at the exact same time as the meeting, to get it in his head that he was going alone.

I spent the next week feeling oddly alone. Harry was busy planning for his meeting with Jeff, and he had to get his homework done early so he could focus on the music.

I missed Harry, I didn't think I realized how much of my time outside of work and school he'd started occupying. Even with school, he'd happily sit in the library with me and watch me study. My favorite was when I would finish a book when I was with him and he would hold out his hand. He told me that he didn't trust anyone's book recombinations but mine.

Even in my free time, I'd be at Harry's apartment reading a book while he messed around on his guitar, or played one of his vinyls. Or he would come to my place, and we'd watch a movie. With him being preoccupied this week, I finally had time to work on my novel. I'd put songwriting at the forefront of all my creative time. The novel had been put on the back burner.

I felt a tang of guilt that I was putting Harry's dreams in front of my own. So I made a promise to myself, if the album ever took over everything; stopped me from accomplishing my personal dreams, I'd stop.

With that in my mind, I went to my favorite bookstore - one that had a cafe area inside - to work on the novel.

I ordered herbal tea and got to work. I was still in the drafting process. I created a very concise character chart for each of my main characters and a detailed summary of each chapter. I was still in the middle of my rough first draft. I'd been working on it for the past four months. It was taking longer than anticipated with work, school, and Harry.