myth academy | taekook

Sorry

WARNING
What is said here might trigger some people idk and suicide is mentioned once but also implied in my message...please do not read if the slightest thing could trigger you just skip to the next chapter I do not want my books to hurt someone ever. My page, books, account whatever is a save haven for people who need someone to talk to or whatever so please proceed at your own risk
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I just wanted to come on here and say I am very sorry that I haven't been on here editing like I should and the few people who read my books...thank you VERY much. And I'm sorry I keep deleting them and everything...but I wanted to come in here and address why I haven't been to active...I've been dealing with depression (some anxiety) but I have a different type of depression (everyone does) I am severely unmotivated to do the littlest things in daily routines. It's made me quite school because I couldn't get up everyday and do school work (online) at all and then my anxiety wouldn't allow me to go to public school because I can get very claustrophobic  just standing in between two people and I am very anti-social (unless I get to know you and become friends idk) and it's kind of hard for me to interact in class and ON TOP OF THAT I have A.D.D (attention deficit disorder) and I've had to change doctors so much from moving a lot so I haven't had my medicine for a.d.d for years and it's hard for me to pay attention to ANYTHING very hard. I can't keep my mind on one thought or on one things and my mind is racing going to like five different topics at once while trying to read while also trying to listen to the teacher...but I've been feeling really down lately. Because I want to get my highschool diploma so so so bad and I am TRYING to work towards it but my family keep pulling my in multiple directions I'll go to my older sisters house but then I have to do this and that then I have to go him to my parents and help them then my dad and step mom call me over and they want to see me then my meemaw needed my help to clean her house (she broke her knee about maybe 3-5 years ago and it never got better) and so I'm doing all this while I still don't have my drivers license because I was 16 when I had to start helping my meemaw  for an entire year by myself. I had to quite my job and do online schooling to help her. Which I have no problem with I'll do anything to help her...if only I had help too...I have a sister that had a job as well and doing schooling but she couldn't because she had a job and school...when I did too. I had to miss out on parties I missed out on hanging out with friends something normal teenagers do. Even at a very young age I've had to grow up to quickly and I was doing an adults job at 16-18 (I'm 18 now turn 19 in seven days!!) I would get so depressed I'd call my mom crying wanting to come home but I'd get pulled right back. My sister got to have boyfriends and go out and hang with friends and party while I had to put my entire life on hold. And everything has been racking up and when I don't have people who will just text me asking how my day was and initiate conversations I feel like if I didn't keep in contact with most of my friends and even family I'd be all alone...I can't call or text some because I don't have service and I don't have a job to be able to pay for my phone...I have been only able to stay awake at night and sleep during the day because that's a symptom of my thyroid or something (irregular sleep schedules) and even that I can't go out and do things and have fun because my sleep schedule is shit...I just want to get my life back on track...and I'm about in tears writing this...I don't want to pity myself but a human being can only take so much...there's other traumatic things that  happened to me in my past that's added to this that I feel like is a bit to much to share...just know I was traumatized at very young ages (different years different ages) so...I just feel like I'm about to loose my battle...but I can't because I do know I have fitness and family that love me and it would tear them apart if I left this world. And they're honestly one of the reasons I stay...also BTS of course they're my big reason I'm still here because when I say they have saved me in many ways than you can imagine they have. I probably wouldn't be here if not for them...but I just wanted to feel like I had someone to come to and talk about this? I guess? (And if you fully read this just for fun type a Purple Heart 💜 in the comments lol) but if you really did read all of this...thank you...and I love every one of you and I hope you have an amazing day or evening. And if you just need someone to talk to I am here. I will be your shoulder to cry on (even if it's not physically) if you just want a safe place you can text me. Because idk what you look like and you don't know what I look like so everything will just be extremely private. Your privacy won't be shared with ANYONE besides with me and I'll be there to help you (I have experience of helping some people from committing suicide) so I will be that safe haven that you might need. But I'm sorry for the long rant lol

I LOVE YOU ALL MY ADORABLE, CUTE,BEAUTIFUL,HANDSOME (whatever you prefer) READERS PLEASE BE SAFE AND HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY/EVENING