Finding the Balance

Prologue:

Lost (adjective)

1.unable to find one's way; not knowing one's whereabouts. 

There's always that period in life when you're staring straight ahead and see nothing in front of you. No clear path, just fog in the air and fear of stepping forward. You desperately want to look behind to see if you went the right way before but what would that change really?

"Girl, can you focus for a second?" Umm, what were we talking about again?

"Damn, did you ever get tested for that? Always spacing out," Right okay I remember.

"Tam, this is serious do you really think there's a chance you can be pregnant?!"

I look at my best friend Jonah, as she stares at me in a panic. "At this point, I'm not sure because I remember seeing a condom...just not on his dick," then I started to laugh so hard I fell off the rim of the tub onto the floor. As we sit in our summer apartment waiting on the results from the pregnancy test I took five minutes ago.

"I don't understand how you can joke about this, I'm here for you but what the f*ck are we gonna do," Jone looks at me while starting to chuckle herself.

There always seems to be a curve ball thrown at you when you're at the lowest. I was crossed when we went to the hookah lounge and didn't plan on escalating it, but the anxiety kept rushing and next thing I knew I was in this guy's lap riding for my life. " I have no clue, but it's time so let's look."

Two weeks later...

"Are you sure you're gonna be ok without me?" I really need to find her a man. " Yes Jone, I will be fine it's just nine months," I tell her trying to get her to relax. She always gets so worked up,

"I know but I won't be able to come see you until October, do you have everything you need? Do we need to do more shopping? Do you have enough ga-," I gave her a tight hug and cheek kiss,

"You do know that it's just college right? I'm only four hours away, everything will be fine," I say while smiling. As I get done loading everything in the car and trying to avoid a very tearful goodbye, I start my four-hour journey by heading to the nearest Panera Bread.

To put it all out there I'm Tamesha a college senior and my best friend Jonah graduated early through a capstone she did with her internship so it's just me now. Heading back without her does hurt, but with my large passion green tea and Moment for Life blasting in the car, I'm just thinking about not getting lost.