At every table, I'll save you a seat

Chapter 2

Race#2: Saudi Arabia

Saudi Arabia was shit, he qualified 15th due to mechanical issues and he father spent the rest of the day screaming at either him or the team. He didn't even had time to talk with Daniel and spend the rest of his day trying to work on a solution for the next day. He ended up second that weekend, behind Checo which mean he got yelled at some more before his father left.

It seemed like not a lot of the drivers had a good weekend: Lando finished 17th, Alex DNF, Leclerc went from second to 7th, Sainz from 5th to 6th. Daniel being the therapist friend, couldn't comfort everyone at the same time so he threw a little party in his hotel room. Alex arrived fist, followed by Carlos and Lando, then Charles. When Max arrived and knocked on the door, it was the Monégasque that opened.

"Charles? Sorry I though it was Daniel's..."

"Oh no it is." He opened the door, clearing the confusion on Max's face and he saw the other men waving at him. "You're not the only one who called Daniel..." Charles explained then let him in. Daniel welcomed him with a big smile, Alex and Carlos were setting up FIFA and Lando was opening snacks.

The atmosphere at first was kind of awkward, none of them wanted to talk about the race but it was also what they usually spoke about when together.

"I'm so excited for Australia in two weeks, I fucking hate this place, and the last one too for that matter." Lando commented breaking the silence. Max hasn't sure what he was referring to, the circuits weren't that bad.

"Yeah me too, Lily never wants to come here and I don't blame her." Alex agreed. Max was staring at them confused while Charles and Carlos were playing on the TV. Daniel spoke.

"You know, I was talking to Lewis about that, he's pissed off, they wanted him to change helmet, he had to threatened not to race at all if he couldn't wear it. I think we shouldn't race in places where not everybody is welcomed." Max connected the pieces, last year Lewis proudly wore a full rainbow helmet to show support to the queer community in those countries. And even though the rainbow's size had considerably shrunk this year, it still wasn't appreciated.

"Wait, you're telling me he almost didn't race today?" Max was stunned. Lewis wasn't queer but every year he'll get into legal problems for his helemets. It didn't matter to him because every year he would wear them again, every time.

"Yeah, they didn't really appreciate last year and well, you know how he is, so he did it again. Honestly I love it." Carlos said still focused on the game.

"It's fucked up, I'm glad we're going to Australia." Charles simply added.

"Do you think him being straight makes it easier to do it?" Lando questioned, a bit of... sadness? In his voice. He was staring at Carlos, no one noticed though.

"Probably, but I think it's good, like if a kid watches someone being so proud and not caring about the hate maybe they can do the same." Charles explained.

"Or a driver." Daniel casually said, chewing pizza. "Like it's statistically impossible that there never were a queer driver. But I think being the first one is always the hardest, like the first women in F1 is going to need to be the bravest person in the world I think." Everybody nodded in agreement and the conversation ended there.

They played for a while and when Charles went to the balcony to get some air he walked in on Carlos and Lando holding hands. They quickly parted ways when they noticed his presence, the Spaniard clearing he throat and the English was desperately trying to find something to say.

"Charles... don't say, you can't say anything, to anyone..." Lando sounded terrified, he was almost pleading.

"Say what?" Charles acted confused, a grin on his face. "I don't see anything, is there... anything to see?" He looked around and was now couldn't resist chuckling at the look on his teammate face. "Just two bros standing on a balcony, 5 feet apart cuz they're not gay" Charles was now laughing like a mad man, hugging his stomach tying to catch a breath. The couple on the other side was unamused by the joke but relief that the Monegasque was taking it this well.

"You're done?" Carlos asked a slight smile on his face, he turned to Lando exasperation in his eyes. Charles managed to calm himself down, he was inhaling in and out deeply.

"Sorry..." He didn't mean it, not a slice of regret in his voice. He took a more serious tone and put he hands in the air. "I didn't see nothing." That, he meant it, he was going to keep whatever this was until the grave if he had to because he couldn't even imagine the consequences of the opposite. Carlos rolled his eyes and excused himself to beat Daniel at FIFA. Lando and Charles sat in silence before the oldest tried. "You wanna... talk about it? You know your secret is safe with me right?"

"Yeah I know" He stated. "We should be more careful, I'm glad you don't care."

"How long have you guys been..." He had a eyebrow up in curiosity.

"We spend the holidays together and well, our relationship took a turn." He let out a laugh and you could see the memories flashing through his eyes. "Charles I swear I feel like I'm going mad, like it's all a dream, I mean look at him, damn!" The words got out of his mouth in the purest form and you could see that maybe he needed to tell someone. "Nobody knows, well, I told my family that I was bi but they don't know about Carlos. He isn't out to his family." That didn't surprise the Monegasque who heard that Sainz parents were really conservative and religious. "So that makes you the only one."

"Did it went okay? I mean coming out to your family?" They both were smiling looking at the stars above their heads.

"Yeah I got some little comments but overall, it went well. I felt so much better after it was off my chest, the relief was crazy."

"Ahhh!" Charles got exited and was now shaking his friend unable to contain his joy. "I'm so proud of you!" Lando was getting teary-eyed, sure his family had been supportive but that, that felt good.

When Max realised Charles absences he wondered if he had left, then thought that leaving like that wasn't a thing he would do. He found him on the balcony, half laughing and half hugging Lando. The jealousy inside of him confirmed his thoughts.

Max was a rational man, most of the time, so when he couldn't get his green eyed rival out of his head, he did some thinking. He took a step back and analysed the situation like it was someone else. The palpitations, the hot flushed, not being rational, whatever was going on in his stomach and now this.

"Shit!" He said and thought it again when he saw his colleagues head turned in his direction. "Sorry, I... I have to go." He took his phone checked his pockets making sure he had his hotel key and left, almost running.

He walked into the hallway, got into his room and locked the door behind him.

Shit, shit, shit, shit and shit. I need to stop that, I need to... shit, I'm so goddamn fucked! He calmed himself down. Okay let's just think, I need to make it stop before it get's out of hand. Yeah... I can do that. This is fine... I have the situation under control. Just be Max Verstappen the straight F1 driver.

The next morning, Max saw the notification of Daniel checking up on his after he left the party in such hurry, he didn't open the conversation. Instead, he went to the gym and got all his internalised emotion out. He was definitely going to be sore the day after. Since they had the week off, he went back to the Netherlands and spent some time with his sister.

"Are you okay? You seem off since you came back." She looked at his, suspicion in her eyes.

"Yeah just had a long week, Dad was at the race..." If you asked anyone else it sounded like good news, but for the Verstappen children, it could hardly be good. Victoria grew up with her mom but even with the distance she always could see right trough him. It scared him a little sometimes, that someone knew so much that no matter how good the excuses were, she always knew when something was up with him.

"I know you drive for RedBull but don't bullshit me right now." She was dead serious, Victoria hated anything that wasn't straight up honesty. "I know it's not all." She also didn't give up easily. "So... What's wrong?" Max sighed, he promised himself to stop thinking about it, to act normal, but it didn't seem enough to fool his little sister.

"It's nothing." He answered fast, too fast.

"Is it really or is it nothing you wanna talk about?" There was concerned in her voice, like genuine worry.

"Both..." Max knew that if he was honest, even about the fact that he didn't want to talk about it, she'll drop it. As long as he was honest.

"Okay... Just text me or call, can 'Max never asking for help Verstappen' do that?" He hit her lightly with his elbow and they had a laugh about it.