It's Not Summer Without Her

Reality Check.

Everything was perfect. I was at the summer house, tanning in the backyard. The boys were out surfing, Belly was swimming in the pool, and my mom was writing her book on the chair next to me. Susannah was making lemonade inside. Everything was fine with the boys, we were mutual, and it's exactly what I wanted out of every summer. Susannah was happy with me, and we were all closer than ever.

Except, nothing was perfect. I wasn't in Cousins, nothing was fine with Conrad or Jeremiah, and Susannah was dead. I had my head down on my desk. The last couple of seconds of ever being in high school, I was pumped. Emmy and I were rooming at Penn State together, it was already decided. Steven got into Princeton, and as happy as I was, my thought kept going back to last summer.

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Jeremiah and I were walking back up the beach, having a much-needed talk about everything. We were holding hands, and I couldn't stop smiling. "I almost can't believe this." I laugh, shaking my head. Jeremiah raises a brow and puts a hand behind my back, and leans me backward. He kisses me on the lips.

"How about now, Maybell?" He whispers, and I can't help but laugh again. We continue to walk and he grabs my hand.

"I... can't stop smiling," I tell him, looking up at the trees above us.

"You know you have one of the best smiles I've ever seen?" Jeremiah tells me, squeezing my hand. "Your whole face just...glows. I've wanted to say that to you like... all summer." He exclaims. Now I wasn't just smiling, but blushing.

"Uh... there's something I need to tell you." It was now or never, I mean Jeremiah basically knew half of it, but this could change everything. "I don't even know how..." I whisper, and our walking slowed.

"Okay... what is it Maybell?" He asks, letting out a breathy laugh. After a moment of silence, he nudges me, "Spit it out."

"I um... the day of the volleyball tournament, you know when everything happened at Hoppers Cove, we got home and Emmy and I went to bed, Conrad texted me." Jeremiah comes to a stop, I knew he had a feeling of where this was going. "He... He told me to come out to see him, so I did, for closure. But, he basically told me he had feelings for me."

"Oh." That is all Jeremiah could get out. And, that scared me, he was usually a man of many words, not the opposite. "Wow. Okay. Like I knew, but... wow." I nod my head, and he crosses his arms. "And what did you say?"

"I... I basically shut it down, and told him it was too late." I shrug. Jeremiah nods and his face lightens up a bit. "But... we were kind of on and off the whole summer. We never kissed, not this summer anyway."

"So... when we both came to pick you four off the side of the road... he meant what he texted you?" Jeremiah asks, we started walking again, a little slower. I just nod my head and we stay silent for a minute.

"Jere, I don't know. I want to be with you, I really do. But the thing is, I don't know if I can do this to Conrad, you know? Like, with everything with Susannah..." I wanted to lay this down gently on Jere, but I felt like there was no way to do it.

"May. Do you want to be with him?" I look up at Jeremiah and he seemed... almost mad. I didn't want this to all crumble down but I had to remember this was Jeremiah Fisher, not Conrad. The youngest, he was babied, he got most things he wanted, he cried a lot easier, he overreacted. And, as much as I love him, he wanted himself to be happy, not just others.

"No... No. I just don't think it's smart for us to start something, you know? Like, you both need to be there for each other I don't want to cause something between you two, especially right now." Jeremiah lets out an exasperated sigh.