Road to War Part II: Yes, Anastasia

Show me the things I've been missing, show me the ways I forgot to be speaking

She wonders, even now, if Ivan knew where he was sending her.  Of course, she thinks, it is entirely possible that Ivan never existed and that whole situation was an implanted memory.  If so, it was nice of them to give her something so pleasant.  By now, she is usually able to determine what was real and what was implanted, though she knows there are large gaps that she may never fill.  In any case, she is fairly certain Ivan was real and rescued her from a fire in the apartment building where her parents lived.

Since she was so young, she doesn't know if things were as severe as she remembers, or if she embellished the importance of events.  It's been a long time since she has tried to sort through her childhood thoughts and figure out exactly what happened.  At a certain point, she wonders if it really matters.  The fact is that she lived somewhere else until she was five or six, and then lived in the Red Room for over a decade.  She was trained as a spy from the beginning, and refined into an excellent assassin very early on. 

The place she was taken was far from the city limits.  It was a compound, with many different outbuildings as well as one large, imposing structure.  From the moment she saw it, she didn't like it.  But perhaps that was just the fear of the child at going to a new place, into the unknown.  It was eerily empty outside, and the wind blew through it in a way that she had not experienced in the city.  Ivan parked the car and fetched her suitcase while she climbed out.

He smiled down at her, taking her hand.  "I know how it looks, but you want to serve our country, don't you?"

He had brought this idea up frequently during her stay.  She had, of course, always agreed.  "Yes, Ivan.  Always."

"Good," he replied, sounding relieved.  "You will be given the opportunity to do great things.  Things most of us could never achieve.  Your parents will be proud when they hear of your decision, especially at such a young age," he told her, looking toward the building as they walked.  She watched him, a nagging doubt entering her mind that he was trying to convince himself as much as her.

"Will you come see me?" she asked.

He looked down again, startled.  "I don't know, Natalia.  This may be goodbye, at least until your training is done."

"How long will that take?"

Biting his lip, he looked away.  "A few years, at least.  You will be quite the young woman before we meet again, I'm sure."

She squeezed his hand.  "What if...  What if I can't do it?" she whispered, pulling at him to slow down.

He turned back to her and embraced her briefly.  "You'll be fine, Natalia.  You always are," he assured her, and led her up the stairs to the front door.

After he rang the bell, she took a deep, shuddering breath.  He smiled at her, and then door opened and he changed abruptly.  She'd seen it before, the way he acted in official encounters.  So unlike the friendliness he showed at home, both toward her, his wife, and the servants.  Still, she had hoped to have him be himself a little longer, and felt fear creeping up again.

A young-looking woman with pretty features but a stern expression had opened the door.  She looked both of them up and down appraisingly, then adopted a cold smile.  "Come in, you're expected," she told them.

Ivan had dropped her hand, and she followed him silently, holding her suitcase close to her chest as they walked across a huge tile entryway.  Their shoes clicked smartly as she led them to a pair of large oak doors on the right side.  Ahead of them was a set of stairs leading to a grand hallway perpendicular to them, and nothing appeared to be on the left side of the room except the same wood paneling that covered the walls.  She opened both doors and stepped aside, letting them enter and closing the doors behind them.

The carpet in the room was plush, a contrast to the tile outside.  They were in a sitting room of some sort, with several antique chairs lining the dark wooden walls.  Ivan glanced at her, expression grave, and then sat down in one of the chairs.  She pulled herself up into the seat next to him.  They waited, her legs swinging back and forth impatiently, toes just skimming the ground.  She didn't know how long they were kept there, despite being expected, but finally the inner door opened and a shockingly beautiful woman appeared in the doorway.

Natalia had seen many women in the city, but none looked like her.  Her dark hair was pulled up in a tightly coiled mass on the back of her head, revealing her swan-like neck and porcelain skin.  Her eyes were green, an uncommon color, and looked warm and inviting as she regarded her guests.  When she smiled at them, Natalia couldn't help but feel a pull toward the woman, and an ache to have her approval.

"Good morning, Ivan, Natalia," she said, her voice as lovely as the rest of her.

"Good morning," Ivan said haltingly, getting to his feet and offering his hand.  She took it and then shook Natalia's as well, smiling broadly.  "We spoke on the phone," he added.

She straightened, looking at him again.  "We did.  You're much handsomer in person, my dear," she told him.  "And little Natalia is a lovely girl.  It's a pleasure to meet you both."

They smiled back at her.  "I'm sure you'll take good care of her," Ivan said, sounding, for the first time, confident about what was going to happen to Natalia.  He paused, as if remembering something, and glanced down at her.  "She was wondering if perhaps I might visit," he began slowly.

The woman's smile faded ever so slightly for a moment before returning.  "Oh, my dear, I am afraid that is impossible.  She will be training, and I'd hate for her to be distracted.  It's a very intensive process, you see," she said, everything about her disarming.

He nodded, as though this was expected.  "Then I must say goodbye, little Natalia," he said gravely, bending to look her in the eye.

"Goodbye, Ivan," she answered sorrowfully.

"You will be in good hands here.  I look forward to hearing what you will do with your gifts," he said, forcing a smile.

"I will do my best."  Her voice was resolute, chin held high, and she was aware of both adults smiling down at her determination.

"I know you will," Ivan said, taking her hand and pressing a kiss to the back of it, then getting to his feet.  "Please, keep me informed," he added seriously to the woman.

Her smile grew.  "Of course," she promised.

With one last look, Ivan took his leave of them, and Natalia looked up at the woman expectantly.  The smile faded away as if it had never been, and she thought that perhaps she wasn't so beautiful after all.  "Madam," she began nervously, uncertainly.

"Come along, child.  Let's get you settled," the woman said with some of the former warmth, but she felt knots forming in her stomach.

The woman walked quickly, much faster than the first girl, and she struggled to keep up.  They navigated a maze of corridors, going back to the main foyer first and then down increasingly narrow and less lavish hallways.  Finally, they reached a room containing two rows of fourteen beds, each carefully made.  All had a few individualized belongings next to them, except for one.

"This will be where you stay, Natalia.  There are twenty-seven other girls, currently at their lessons.  It is too late for you to join them today, but you will start with them tomorrow.  Follow their lead and you will be fine," the woman explained, with an almost military-like precision.

"Madam," she began, eyes wide.

"Don't fret, child.  It will be difficult at first, but, from what I've seen, I am sure you will adapt quickly.  You will see me for lessons, though perhaps not for a few years.  We will see how you progress.  But here is your first lesson here: do not allow your opponent to see any weakness."

Blinking, she took a wary step back.  "Who are my opponents?"

The woman smiled, her beauty returning but none of its warmth.  "Everyone."

The word sank into her consciousness and she considered running out after Ivan.  But she knew she wouldn't want to do that.  Even then, at such a young age, she wanted a challenge.  She wanted to live up to what Ivan had been warning her about, what this woman seemed to think she could do.  She wouldn't run.  She had lost her parents, her home, and she wasn't going to lose anything else.