Amongst The Getaway

Broken

Laying there.  Bruises all over. Staring at the ceiling,. Swollen cheeks with dry tears. my face now holds no emotion. My mum always beats me. during this beating and the.... nevermind whatever happened last night lasted for about 7 hours. i decided to not care anymore. take out my sadness on myself. my anger on myself. from this point onwards i will show no emotion. This is my new identity. 

I got up and immediately fell. i sighed and stood up from the pain in my back. thinking back to what happened i started to tear up. no! i will not cry. i slapped myself and limped to the bathroom. i looked in the mirror. i'm so ugly. i traced the red marks on my body with my hands gently, slightly wincing at the sudden pain but closed my eyes. 

FLASHBACK...

"GET OFF ME YOU SICKO!" i shouted pushing this guy off me. he slapped me and started sucking on my neck leaving painful bruises. "GET OFF ME PLEASE I BEG YOU" i shouted. pleading. mrs holmes brought over some guy in his late 30s. at first i thought that mum- i mean mrs homes got tired of beating me so she got her 'fling' but no. it was some rando off the street who she took to my room. now i am about to be raped. in a matter of seconds he started tearing my clothes off. "STOP, PLEASE WHAT DID I DO!" he started taking off his clothes and did something horrible. he put his thingy inside me "STOP GET OFF ME PLEASE!" i slapped him and threw my lamp at him. he managed to dodge it but it ended up hitting mrs holmes. she screamed and threw the man off me and started slapping and punching me. i started to cry until she-

thud

i snapped out of my thoughts to hear that mum got home. after what happened she disappeared into thin air. i looked back into the mirror and opened my drawer. i rummaged through my things until i came across a blade. i picked it up and stared and the small yet life changing object in my hand. am i really going to do it again? I questioned myself. i have been clean for 4 and a half months. am i going to ruin this for myself. i mean i should. this happened cause it was obviously my fault. its my fault for getting myself beaten. its my fault that i got raped. 

oh no. no no no no! i left my bag downstairs. with my test. mrs holmes is going to wanna see it. shes going to be so mad that i got 95 out of- 

i was rudely interrupted by mrs holmes' voice bellowing from downstairs.

"MIA, GET DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!" i flinched and dropped the blade on my foot. it cut me a little but didn't hurt. i was already beaten up. i ran downstairs and walked to mrs holmes. 

DO NOT LOOK HER IN THE EYES 

i said to myself. "WHATS THIS!?" she screamed. i looked up and see a dirty plate. i sighed and spoke, "sorry mrs holmes, its a d-dirty plate. i will go clean it and for an a-apology i will give y-you both a p-pedicure and a m-manicure..." i internally cursed at myself for stuttering. i knew what was coming next. i squeezed my eyes at the impact to my  face. "WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT STUTTERING?" she bellowed "n-not to" slap "AGAIN" "not to" i cried. " AND WHY IN THE BLOODY HELL CANT YOU DO THAT HUH?". "Im sorry, it wont happen again..." i apologised. "Good, now. get my pedicure and manicure ready and fix this damn plate". "yes ma'am".