The Book of Oingy Bangy

Vent Dump

(this is regarding the allegation article made towards Danny)

((This is how I feel about it))

I've tried to keep my mind distracted but nothing seems to be working. I can't help but look thru all of my Boingo/Danny posts I've made and just look at him y'know. I feel really spiritually attached/connected to him. And I'm in so much pain rn I feel like I'm gonna go insane

Danny/boingo is literally the reason and what inspired me to be able to come out of my shell. They made me feel comfortable about coming out y'know. They made me feel proud of who I am and feel comfortable in my own skin

Like I stated in one of my Tumblr posts, I usually don't get this bad about something like this unless it's a music death of someone, but this... This hit the nail on the coffin

I still love the man. I really do. And I understand if that makes me sound like the bad guy. But... Being attached to someone whom I've adored for such a long ass time?!  I really don't want to give that up

I just.. *sigh* I have this thing in which I get easily/emotionally attached to people. And once I make that bond, whether it's physical or not. I don't want to let go 😔

And that's bc I've always had a fear of abandonment.

And I still do.
That's why I get so attached
And with him it's just

Idk honestly I'm so conflicted about all this rn

I honestly don't know what to do with myself

And I really don't like taking/choosing sides

Like, bruh, I cried so much last night. I was watching forbidden zone with a friend of mine because I had promised them we would have movie night and they wanted to watch it (in our dsc server) and when Danny's character came up on the screen I broke down.. I was crying so bad it felt like I was even choking on my own tears ;-;

Not to mention I made a very terrible discovery and I kind of regret looking into it I really shouldn't have but I did. I was checking my Twitter yesterday just to see if anyone was actually talking about there too. There were a lot of people making the comment that he should be dead. Like one person said that he should light himself on fire, another person said that he should be 10 ft underground Etc.

And once again I will say this even if it makes me a bad person I don't really care because (apart from The Who) Oingo  Boingo/Danny's film scores thats been the only thing that I've known, the only thing that I had to turn to when I was in a dark spot. And I've said it before when I had gotten back into my Boingo phase back in 2013, and I'll say it again and I'll say it a million times more. I will listen to Oingo Boingo until the day that I die.

And I mean just to point out something not that this has anything to do with the situation that's going on but I just want to point out that, like hell there are people out there who know about the issue with Nikki sixx of motley Crue like he did some pretty bad things back then, especially one of them being that he dated a minor but those same people still listen to motley Crue to this day.

To put it simply basically what I'm saying is if people to this day can still listen to motley Crue even if they are aware of Nikki's bad past, then I'm going to keep the vow that I made 10 years ago. And continue listening to Oingo Boingo.. even if it makes me the bad guy.

Another thing, like to put it in my own words looking at the situation is kind of like dealing with a breakup for me it is cuz it's like... It's like being happy one minute and then the next you get like a message from so-N-so  telling you that it's over and you're just sitting there like not knowing what to do but then it's also like because you've gotten so emotionally and or spiritually and or physically attach to said person. You're just sitting there like you don't want to let go of them.
Cuz that's how it feels for me rn.