Friends Before College

chapter 3- challenge me

[A week later]

Jade Pov♧

I haven't left my room in three days,I mentally can't leave the bounds of my bedroom.

I look down at my now bloody wrist that's lined with small cuts.

I feel numb, Jay had been leaving food on my dresser for me but I haven't touched it.

I don't know why but I relapsed,I haven't cut in two years but why now?

I look at my phone screen,the light burning my bloodshot eyes.

38 missed calls from Carmen,I can't let her see me like this.

I clean up my cuts yet I don't bandage them,I hate this feeling,I feel worthless,like I don't care but do at the same time.

My body begs me to eat and do something but I physically won't allow it.

I hear a knock on my bedroom door as I lay on my bed staring at the cards that stuck to my ceiling.

"Jade open the door,it's Carmen...please." I heard Carmen say from the other side.

"It's not locked." I deadpan and I hear the door knob turn and then I meet the gaze of the brunette.

"Jade...what happened?" Jade asked walking towards the bed and sitting next to me.

"I don't know...I just don't." I sigh sitting up,I feel the bed sheets graze my cuts and I hiss at the pain.

"Are you ok?" Carmen questions worriedly.

"Yea." I deadpan as I grab my wrist.

"Jade...you're...you're bleeding." Carmen shuttered as I looked down at my wrist that was bleeding again.

"I'm fine Carmen." I say smiling weakly.

"No you're not...did you c-cut yourself?" she asks with tears in her eyes.

I didn't respond,I looked away from her,I can't look at her I'm the reason that she's crying,she shouldn't see me like this.

"JADE ANSWER ME!" The now crying girl next to me shouts grabbing my attention.

"YES ALRIGHT I DID!" I yelled back at her and she stared at me blankly,I can't do this anymore it hurts too much.

"Why Jade?" she questions her lip quivering.

"I-I don't know." I stutter as tears start falling from my eyes.

"Let me help you." Carmen offers and I look her in her eyes as wipes her tears.

"No,the last person that said that hurt me worse than I can hurt myself." I say getting up and walking into my bathroom and grab the frist aid kit from under my sink.

"Jade...I promise you that I won't hurt you just let me take care of you." Carmen says following me into the bathroom.

"She promised me that too,now look where I am!" I shouted at her and she steps back.

"I'm s-sorry Carmen,I shouldn't have yelled a you." I sigh as I open the frist aid kit.

"That's Alright Jade but don't shut me out,I care about you I won't allow myself to let you hurt yourself." Carmen says holding my hand softly.

"Alright I'll try." I say andshe smiles at me softly.

"Now let me clean your cuts then I'll get you some food." the brunette says and I nod and sit on the counter while she cleans my cuts again.

she gently wraps my wrist in bandages and packs up everything. 

"C-carmen I can't ask you to deal with me when I'm like this I don't want to be a burden on you." I rambled as the brunette girl stood in frount of me.