TorcherxSoldier|| oneshots ||

Alone with your thoughts

Hello people's!! It is I, your mother/parent, who has come back with food!!

Just kidding y'all gettin angst bc I'm upset af and am currently taking it out on Olive and Thorn ‼️
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(⚠️TW: s3lf h*rm ⚠️)
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Ever since Thorn found out about Olive's issue, Olive stayed clean for a long ass time. Thorn was there to comfort Olive and be there when he was getting urges. Today wasn't as simple as that though.

Today Thorn had to be outside of the outpost. He had to take a helicopter to go somewhere else to do his work, leaving Oliver alone. Like I said in the last chapter, Olive was already used to this though. Thorn carried the flamethrower and worked in a different area of the outpost, so he did have different tasks.

Olive woke up at around 4am, from a bad dream. He didn't get too many nightmares about his past, but today he did. All the other soldiers were still asleep in their beds. Oliver tried to look around for Thorn but it was only when he couldn't find him he remembered he had to leave early today.

Oliver was still pretty tired but was still way too panicked to go back to sleep after the dream. Knowing he couldn't go back to sleep, he grabbed his backpack from underneath his bed, and headed outside towards his and Thorn's secret area outside the outpost.

Once he got there, he set his bag down and sat down with his back propped up against a tree. It was still pretty dark outside but he didn't seem to mind. He pulled out his phone and looked over at his and Thorn's texts. He wanted to text him something, but he knew that he was probably busy at the moment and couldn't talk.

However that doesn't mean he couldn't go through old texts. Olive liked reading through his texts with Thorn. Even though they both sounded so corny sometimes, it put a smile on Olive's face.

After he got done looking over him and his boyfriends texts, he went to TikTok to try and entertain himself. He started to wonder if maybe he could ask his boss to not do anything today and fake being sick, as he scrolled through his fyp.

For some reason though, his fyp was being very depressing. Videos after videos of people venting were all he was getting. This just made him feel worse, seeing as he just got woken up from a shitty dream about his childhood trauma.

He soon realized that to keep scrolling would just make him feel more and more upset, so he put his phone down for a second, trying to take his mind off things. Instead though, his eyes started to drift away and look at his bag.

He really only brung it so that he could eat incase he got hungry, since he almost always kept snacks with him, no matter where he went. However his mind started to wonder off. He knew he shouldn't do it. He told Thorn that he would come to him, any time he felt a certain way.

Olive tried to keep reminding himself of that before he done something stupid but it was hard. Plus if he could hide it, Thorn wouldn't know. Thorn wasn't even here, so Olive could do it..

Before he knew it, his bag was in his hands and he was searching through it. To him though, this wasn't a big deal. He'd just get it over with, and never tell Thorn about it.

Soon enough, he found the small blade hidden in his backpack. Thorn had thrown out Olive's old one, when he found out, but Olive soon had found a box cutter and took the blade out of it.

Olive put the blade down on the grass for a second to take off his gloves. You'd think that he wouldn't wear them to bed, but he didn't like seeing his scars, nor did he think others would. After he had them off, he grabbed the blade and looked at his right wrist.

He held onto it tightly and pressed it against his skin, not making a mark, but getting it ready too.

"Oliver, Put it down!"

Olive looked up to find Thorn a few feet away from him.

"B-but you were supposed to be at-"

Olive sat there, confused.

"That doesn't matter right now, put it down."

Thorn sounded angry but he wasn't. He really hated seeing his partner this way, so he tried to prevent it, in any way he could.

Oliver done as he was told and put it down onto the grass next to him. He felt bad knowing he made Thorn "angry", so he curled up and hid his face, as tears formed in his eyes. Thorn carefully walked over to his and sat down next to him.

"I'm not mad, hun..Just why didn't you come to me..?"

He whispered in a soothing tone as he placed a hand on Olive's head to gently stroke his hair.

"I-..I don't know. I thought you were gone so I came out here. Everything was doing ok until..I don't know. I thought maybe I could just get it over with and you wouldn't find out..but..I don't know.."

Oliver cried out and turned to look at his boyfriend with sad teary eyes. Thorn brung Oliver close to him and hugged him tightly.

"I'm sorry Olive honey..but can you understand I'm not mad..just worried?"

Olive nodded and buried his face deep into Thorn's chest. Thorn gently stroked his partners hair to try and calm him down, but also grabbed the blade and put it in his pockets. Oliver looked even more sad, seeing his blade get taken away.

"Don't give me that look, I'm trying to help you before you end up hurting yourself again."

"Not like I can just easily find other things.."

Olive whispered under his breath but Thorn turned his head to look at him.

"Do I need to start watching you 24/7?"

Thorn looked dead serious but wasn't angry. Oliver simply looked away and hugged Thorn closer.

"No..no it's fine..Sorry if I keep worrying you about these things. I know you want me to stop but it..it just is difficult."

Thorn sighed and held his partner close.

"I know Olive..I know I can't ask you to quit, because it's an addiction and it's not as simple as it looks to fully commit to quitting..but I can at least try to help you quit. I want you to come to me, and you do. This was just a small little hiccup, and I'm glad I got here in time before.."

Thorn looked away for a couple of seconds, not wanting to mention anything that might make things worse.

"Point is.., I'm not mad, and yes you do worry me, but you don't need to apologize for it. I'm your boyfriend, worrying about you is normal."

They both went silent again, and just held eachother.
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I'm done writing that 🗣️‼️
If y'all can pls start giving me requests bc my ass has barley any ideas lol.

(1211 words)