**Winner 2024 Amby Awards**
Fiza has everything planned-medical school, a respectable future, and an engagement she never wanted. Determined to escape a loveless match, she creates a checklist to find the perfect husband her father will approve of.
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As we fell back into our familiar study routine, I couldn't help but notice the subtle shifts in Fiza's demeanor. Most days, it was like nothing had changed between us - we'd laugh, share stories, and dive into deep, meandering conversations. But there were moments when her gaze would wander, a hint of sadness clouding her eyes. She'd sigh deeply, close her books, and either rush off to the restroom, returning with red-rimmed eyes, or abruptly end our session early, claiming a need to study alone in the hostel.
Me: Doing okay, princess?
Fiza: yeah, just needed a break.
Me: Do you want to go for a walk? I'm still at the library.
Fiza: No, I think I'll just study here for today.
Me: I'm here if you change your mind.
A pause, then the typing indicator appeared, disappeared, then reappeared.
Fiza: Okay
The sight of her pain, the knowledge that I had inflicted it, was a constant ache.
So I went the extra mile, checking on her throughout the day, spending hours on the phone with her until she drifted off to sleep at night.
On the better days, though, it felt like nothing had changed. Our conversations flowed effortlessly, from the complexities of life to matters of religion, politics, and even our own family dramas. We were in sync, two halves of a whole.
We continued recording songs together, posting them on our shared Instagram account. Slowly but surely, our follower count was growing.
One day, I noticed Fiza had posted a solo cover, the caption reading "Little do you know" by Sierra.
Little do you know How I'm breakin' while you fall asleep Little do you know I'm still haunted by the memories
Little do you know I'm tryin' to pick myself up piece by piece Little do you know I need a little more time
Underneath it all I'm held captive by the hole inside I've been holding back for the fear that you might change your mind
I'm ready to forgive you, but forgettin' is a harder fight
Little do you know I need a little more time
The moment I saw the post, my heart plummeted.
That night, I started at the ceiling, airpods in my ear. "I'm really trying here, Fiza," I said softly.
She sighed. "I know. You've been amazing."
A surge of frustration, sharp and sudden, tightened my chest. "Then why are you still sad?"
Silence. I could almost see her, gathering her thoughts.
