ˡʸʳⁱᶜⁱˢᵐ

ʟᴏᴠᴇʀ

⩇⩇:⩇⩇

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ♫♬♪

ʟᴏᴠᴇʀ                   ♡︎

ᴾˡᵒᵗ ᵀʷⁱˢᵗ, ᴿᵒˢᵉ & ᴷᵉⁿⁿᵉᵈʸ

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ɪ ꜱᴇᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ʜᴇʀ

Jaemin had just finished his class: his biology teacher always let them out of class late, it was always when it was lunch too but I suppose you can't help that. Most of his friends had a free period during his biology timetabled lessons or some had their own subject lessons but they were out on time at least. Jaemin was usually last to the table at lunch. He puts down his tray and his friends greet him as usual, his boyfriend flashing him a smile and Jaemin instantly feels better. He called it the Lee Jeno effect. Lunch time was Jaemin's favourite part of the day, it was the only time he could be with all of his friends and Jeno of course, the group called themselves the 'dreamies' and had been together for two years more or less yet some things never changed. He opens his juice carton and starts to eat while Haechan gossips on about whatever drama he caught in his performance arts class. Jaemin was either super loud or super quiet as a result of his mixed personality but today he just wanted to eat as he was already late. He was in his listening mood today, just soaking up whatever conversation took place at the table. He accidentally applies too much pressure to his carton and grimaces slightly at the spillage on his shirt, what a bother. He looks around for some napkins but rather his eyes land on his boyfriend instead. This was a common occurence for the boy but instead it felt different today. His boyfriend was speaking to Renjun, a newer member of the Dreamies' friendship group. Him and Jeno had became close instantly, they both had similar energy and as Jeno quoted, Renjun was the only other 'normal' guy in their group so it was fair to say they were good friends. Jaemin wasn't one to get jealous of these things, he didn't do 'jealousy' as a whole, rather he felt insecure most of the time. He couldn't help it. Whilst the rest of the group laughed about some nonsense Haechan was spurting out, Jeno and Renjun were entirely in their own world it seemed, talking about something else Jaemin couldn't catch across the table. Both were looking down and smiling before looking back at each other nervously. None of this was new for Jaemin but it  still always struck him as he watched how Jeno looked at Renjun, with those careful eyes. There was nothing but adoration in those eyes. 

ɪ'ᴠᴇ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ꜱᴇᴇɴ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴍᴇ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ

Jaemin couldn't help but feel his heart sink every time. He saw how Jeno seemed with Renjun, how he looked at the other with so much care as if nothing else seemed to matter in that moment. Even though him and Jeno had been childhood best friends and now had been dating for around three months, he'd never seen Jeno look at him like that. There was something different about his gaze towards the Chinese boy, it was nothing Jaemin had ever seen before. He couldn't quite read the other's expression, he couldn't understand much about it besides from the knowing pit of worry he felt in his stomach. He had been feeling worse about the new friendship for the past month, in fact he hated to admit it but from the very first day Renjun had joined their group, Jaemin had felt uneasy. Chenle had invited the boy harmlessly as the two had met through their similar Chinese backgrounds and culture. There was always something special about friendship with somebody who had similar bringing ups and the two had a mutual comfort in speaking their mother tongue to eachother in this foreign country. When he came to the group, besides from Chenle, he had also instantly clicked with Jeno and that was when Jaemin first experienced doubt. He felt guilty as he'd known Jeno his entire life and they'd both finally admitted to their feelings for each other and things seemed to be going so well. So why did he feel that unexplainable pang of nervousness and even betrayal when he watched the two together? Having spent more than a decade by Jeno's  side, he'd never felt he and the other had ever interacted the way he did with Renjun. Jaemin bites his tongue coming back to the lunch table situation and looks down at his own tray. That was all it took to erase the playful giddy happiness Jeno had given him earlier with just a mere smile. Now his mind wandered back to a state of doubt he'd secretly had for a while. Jaemin had felt these mixed moods for the past month but learnt to accept it, one second Jeno made him feel like the most special person on in this world and the next Jaemin wondered what the other felt for him at all. He eats silently, nobody questioning his tranquility at all. He had lived with the real truth for a month now just like this.