Could you be any louder?

chapter 9

That night, Louis doesn't sleep.

He turns, and turns, and then turns again. But sleep isn't nowhere to be found.

His body hurts. Everything hurts.

A storm had picked up earlier this night and now the creaks the wood causes, the wind slamming onto the roof and the room is filled with other unknown sounds that don't belong to the usual sounds his bedroom at home has.

And as much as he dislikes being a whimp, he's cold too. Deadly cold.

No matter how many comforters he's thrown on, he can't seem to warm his body up even for one degree. He's wearing his thickest pajamas and a sweater, but the ice inside his body doesn't want to leave.

His body aches, needing back the amount of sleep he'd gotten while sleeping in Harry's arms.

His head hurts, needing back the slender fingers which would massage his scalp and neck mindlessly while watching a movie.

His head is pounding more than ever, the constant turning not helping either. He's lying in complete darkness, everything in the house is completely silent except for the sounds of the storm outside

Silence. But he still has loud colors playing in his head along with penetrant buzzing in his ears.

And he hates it, hates his body for doing this to him. He'd rather die than endure it any more, sometimes.

Every time he closes his eyes, rather uncomfortable fragments of the day play behind his eyelids too.

He blinks, tries to blink the fragments away.

"You should've seen yourself." Zayn laughs, its a warm, hearty laugh.

Louis grimaces, trying to force out a smile. "Yeah. I don't do well with surprises."

He turns around again, trying to seem occupied with preparing some snacks.

He sighs softly, knowing that moping around won't help a thing. But he also really doesn't want to be around these guys right now.

He doesn't feel good. He feels horrible actually. Every single damn thing in his body hurts, every single damn thing in his body screams.

But it's not only his physical pain, also the mental pain. He hates being around new people. Especially when they're close to someone he's friends with. Or roommates. Whatever you'd call Harry and Louis at this point.

The thing is, Zayn and Calum have been nothing but inviting and nice to him. They don't act like he isn't there or won't only talk to Harry. They've been asking him stuff and involving him in the conversations. Deep down he knows why he doesn't want to get to know them, he just doesn't want to share Harry with anyone this weekend. It had been so good up until now.

Everything between them had been perfect. Now his friends got to ruin it. Burst his bubble.

He grabs a knife to cut up some baguettes, having just prepared the dips. Mindlessly he stares at his hand going back and fort with the knife, slicing the bread. Almost like it's not his actual hand.

"Louis?" He hears Harry ask from the couch, "You okay there? Need some help?"

"No thank you." Louis dismisses his help immediately. "Almost done here."

He doesn't need help. He has never needed help and he will never need help. In the most double sense of the words.

He opens his eyes. Still nothing but darkness staring back at him. He contemplates getting up but he has no energy left in his body for that. And so his eyes fall shut again.