Good morning my babies ' I say before kissing the twins and they start cooing and I unswaddle and they do a big stretches
You're 3 months now ! Can you believe it ' I say before i undress them so I can bathe them after i was done I got them dressed and gave them to grandma T so I can shower real quick. I checked up on them when I was done
You gonna see daddy! he's coming home ! ' she says and they just smile but they really haven't seen Rashaad since they were a few days old
It's gonna be just me ' I say messing with my phone for a little bit
They too young for that FaceTime, they need to see him or at least touch or hear he's voice ' grandma T says and i understood but I don't want them to see me cry especially since I missed him too
He gets out today and I'll make sure they see him first ' I say getting ready to leav and I prayed real quick as I finally made it to the jail and it felt like a life time but he finally walked out and definitely needed a hair cut
No hug ? ' he says and i look at him like bitch I can't hug and drive so I gave him a kiss
The twins are with your grandmama, they should be asleep by now especially since They go into food comas I say before we stopped at McDonald's
You're eating like how I was when I was pregnant' I say laughing before eating my ice cream
You get tried of that shitty ass prison food especially if you had it as long as I did ' he says than we went to the house and he gave his grandma a hug and he jumped into the shower. They woke up once they heard that shower. My babies are so nosy
Their fatter than before' Rashaad says coming out in fresh clothes and he throws the towel in the basket
Carter remember daddy ? ' I say and he starts smiling and cooing and starts touching Rashaad face and tries to give his daddy a kiss but it just looks like he was eating he's face and we laugh than I look at Amari and he was being quiet more than usual
You remember me ? ' Rashaad says to Amari and he was just staring at Rashaad with no emotion than he started crying when Rashaad picked him up but stopped when I took him, he was more smiley with me and you could tell that killed Rashaad inside
Wanna go see grandma ? ' I ask them and they immediately got happy so I took them to grandma T room and they were watching Tv with her
You alright ? I asked him as he sat on the bed and was rolling up a blunt
Shit aight alright Alexis my own son don't even want me ! He just looks at me like I'm sum random ass nigga from the street ' he says pissed off
What do you expect Rashaad?! You were gone ! They only been around me & your grandma! And my family ! They only seen you on FaceTime and in photos' I say frustrated
You should have brough them ! You had a fucking choice ! And Yo ass chose to keep them away from me when I got locked up especially knowing they needed me
I NEEDED YOU TOO ! I NEEDED YOU TO BE HERE FOR US ! FOR ME ! ' i cried before leaving the room and i ended up hiding in the laundry room to cry before washing my face than i went up check up on them, they were up and playing but took them cus grandma T needs to rest too
Hi my babies' I say to carter and Amari and they just talk giggling and trying to babble as we played in the living room. than I gave Amari he's medicine because he's been getting sick a lot these days
I was thinking about you and them for the past months I was locked up, I counted on your visits to keep a nigga sane and I kept out of trouble for y'all even though the other bitch ass inmates thought I was a pussy but I knew I couldn't do any more time ' he says as I put the twins down and he just holds me
I never took them because I didn't want them to remember you like that and it was hard for me too, I wanted to cry everytime you left when visits were over ' I say as we relaxed in the bed
I fucked up Alexis, I need help shawty, I need to stop thinking about myself or what these streets think and focus on my family' he says giving me kisses and we chilled in eachother arms and my ass knocked out
( 2 hours later )
Rashaad? ' I mumble to myself trynna feel him but the bed was empty than I walked downstairs and I just see Rashaad feeding the twins
They woke up fussy but I didn't wanna wake you or grandma T up and nigga did struggle to figure out what was wrong w them, turns out they was hungry' he says as he Feeds them and they were happy especially Amari
You gave daddy a hard time ? ' I say and they giggle and Amari was reaching out so I picked him up but he didn't want me But Rashaad and you see Rashaad heart melt and i couldn't help but smile
Time to wash y'all faces I say wiping their faces than I changed their clothes than did 2 diper changes, I let them play and do some tummy time
Imma do better shawty ' he says as we watch the twins than we put them to sleep and of course Rashaad wanted them to sleep with us but I didn't want them to get a habit of that so I said no
You think im being mean but what if we try to get freaky and they wannna come in our room ? What are you gonna do than huh ? ' I say and he understood why I said no
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