One Sided Kyman Story (Oneshot)

Cartman has no rizz

Cartman "invites" (more like forces) Stan and Kenny over to his house.

Stan : What the hell is it this time Cartman.

Stan Asks rolling his eyes with a very annoyed expression

Stan: Me and Kenny were already at Kyle's house so why the hell did you not let Kyle also go to whatever this is?

Cartman pouts with a red face then his tone immedaitly changes to excited and hopefull.

Cartman: I FOUND A WAY TO MAKE THE JEW FALL FOR ME!

Cartman says full of himself

Stan: You literally do this everyday, he Isn't going to go out with you.

Stan had enough of this BS that has been going on for weeks now ever since Summer Started.

Kenny: (Muffled) You are seriously a fucking asshole.

Cartman: SHUT UP KENNY! YOU ARE JUST JEALOUS THAT I HAVE MORE RIZZ THAN YOU!

Cartman stomps his feet as someone knocks on the door

Cartman: WHO THE HELL!?

Stan sighs and opens the door to see nobody else but the green hat jew boy himself, KYLE BROVASKI!

Kyle: Hey dudes!

He hugs Stan while Cartman pushes Stan out of the way.

Cartman has been trying to express his feelings to Kyle with absolutely no success (I wonder why/sarc)

Cartman puts his arm on the side of the door.

Cartman: Sup Jew~

(yes this infact based on that cursed Kyman fanart if yk yk)

Kyle blushes and goes "OMG-, C-Cartman O///O

BAHAHAHA NAH IM PLAYING XD

What actually happens is that Kyle just stands there comfused and honestly terrfied

Stan facepalms and Kenny cant help but burst out laughing

Kyle: uhh , Sup Fatass?

Kyle tilts his head and pushes through Cartman to get inside. Cartman Sighs.

Cartman: God Damnit Kyle

Cartman then joins the rest, Stan and Kenny can not look at him in the eye with a straight face while Kyle is just there confused.

He wasn't even sopposed to show up but ignoring Eric's wishes like always, he shows up anyway.

While Stan and Kenny are mocking Cartman, Cartman asks the big question.

Cartman: Hey Kahl, can gingers fall in love?

Kyle: Excuse me?

Stan and Kenny looked at the two realizing what Cartman just said and burst out laughing again, atp they are rolling on the floor Laughing and crying)

Cartman is ignoring them.

Cartman: If you were to fall in love, who would it be with?

Kyle rolls his eyes and plays on his phone

Cartman gets closer to Kyle as Kyle is sitting on the couch.

Cartman: Do you think I'm cute~?

Kyle: No.

Kyle is pissed rn and highly uncomfortable.

Cartman: Well I think you are~

Kyle has the most terrfied look on his face and tries to push Cartman away as Cartman tries to kiss him.

Kyle: DUDE! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?

Stan: Dude, you seriously should just give up.

Kenny: (Muffled) Yeah.

Kyle: Give what up?

Kyle tilts his head as he gets off the couch and heads towards the door.

Stan Sighs and Says

Stan: Cartman has a huge crush on you and he wont shut up about it.

Kyle just stands theredumbfounded trying to process what he was hearing, He was disgusted, Kyle would never date someone like Eric Cartman.

Kyle: I do not like you.

Cartman: What?

Kyle: I said, I do not like you.

Kyle walks out and closes the door shut as he goes back home.

Stan: I tried to tell you dude, lets go Kenny.

Stan and Kenny walked back to their homes as Cartman is frozen looking at the door.

Cartman: Oh, I will make you mine Jew, Just you wait.

Based ASF Photo