gone - kairi cosentino

07

i laughed at the group of confused guys. "so you were willing to LOSE YOUR VIRGINITY in the garage of mattias house?" robert asked with a concerned look. "no," i said rolling my eyes. "we weren't actually gonna do it there." mattia raised his eyebrows. "there?" my eyes widened a little and my face turned pink. they all looked at me, smiles almost to their ears. kairis phone rang, "hello?" we could hear the other side, but i assumed it was either maya or his mom. "okay, love you" he looks at me, "i gotta go." a wave of sadness rushed through me. "but i'll see you tomorrow. kay?" i smile at him. "kay. i'll walk you out." we got up, walking up mattias stairs again. we got to the front door too quickly for my liking. "tomorrow. don't forget." he says, pointing a finger in my face. i smile at him. "i would never forget." he smiles before kissing my cheek. "i'll see you." and as he started to walk out the door, he turns back whisper-yelling, "and cover up those hickies. i want your mom to like me still." i blew him a kiss, waving goodbye and closing and locking the door behind him. i walked back down the stairs, still sad me and kais time was cut short. but as i looked downstairs, all the guys are sitting in a circle "okay this is not therapy. why are you guys acting like that?" roshaun pat a spot next to him on the couch. i slowly walked over to the group, honestly scared for my life. i sat down, crisscrossed my legs and waited for somebody to say something. i looked around at all of them, they all had a serious face. besides alejandro. he couldn't help but smile. "hi ale. do you have something to say?" i smiled back at him, knowing his smile calmed my nerves. he giggled before saying, "you and kairi almost had sex." i rolled my eyes, disbelief raining over me. "look, it was like BARELY us about to have sex." mattia tilted his head at that comment, "what do you mean?" i take a deep breath in before exhaling. "we weren't even that close to fucking. like," i blinked my eyes a couple times, running through my memories of that moment in the garage. "like one of his hands was close to-" i paused again but the guys understood what i was trying to say, giving me a nod of understanding. "but all he did was kiss my neck and boobs and he had his hand close to my-" robert clasped his hand to my mouth, stopping me before i said it. "we understood, y/n!" he moved his hand off my mouth and i nod slowly. "but, the real question is," mattia started. "do you want to fuck kairi?" i had to think about this. i know i want to be with kairi. like so bad. and i guess that would come with sex. "i mean, yeah i think it would be great to do that with a guy i like so much," i started. "but that's not all i want." alejandro looked at me. "then what do you want, ghost?" i look down at my fingers and then back up at alejandro. "i want to be with kairi. i want to take him on corny dates and get matching pajamas and have a tiny stuffed animal baby. i just want to be his." they all smile at me. "ghost," mattia started. "sounds like you're in love." hearing somebody else say that about kairi feels so weird. i know it's true, but now they all know it too. my eyes widened and i scoffed. "yeah right." roshaun grabbed my face, making me look at him. "listen here, you big child," he started to say, my ego a little bruised. "you love kairi. that's so insanely obvious. and it's clear you want to fuck him aswell because, well-" he points to my chest. i sigh, not wanting to admit he's right. i do love kairi. with every bone in my body. there's not a single doubt in my mind that he is not the one for me. tears started to fill my eyes and my bottom lips started to quiver. mattia realized and he started to say, "y/n don't cry it's okay-" i felt a tear drop, the water continuing to grow in my eyes. i really do love him. alvaro put a hand on my back and roshaun pulled me into a hug. the rest of the guys came and joined the hug. i began to cry. the tears fell as quickly as they came. "i do love him." i whispered to them, sobbing into roshauns shoulder. alejandro played with my hair, "that's okay, y/n. you have no clue how much kairi loves you." mattia started talking next. "seriously, ghost. i've never seen him so crazy about anything. especially not a person." robert rubbed my arm softly and he said, "we all love you, y/n. but the love kairi has for you puts all our love to shame." they all give a little "mhm" in agreement. i lifted up my head, sniffing softly. "thank you guys," i smile at all of them. "i know i said this wasn't therapy, but i really did need this." they smile at me, alvaro still rubbing my back. i then snap back into reality and realize the conversation we just had. i raise my eyebrows and widen my eyes. robert noticed my actions, glancing at me weird. "what? why do you look like that?" they all look at me, the same weird face growing in their faces. "i have to tell him." alejandros mouth drops as he asks, "what?" i nodded at him and at myself. "yes. i do. i have to tell kairi." mattia smiles a little, his eyes still wide. "i'll drive you to his house." i nod at him, a large smile growing on my face. "get the keys. i have to go now." mattia jumps up, quickly walking to the stairs. as mattia runs upstairs, alejandro gives me the hoodie i was wearing, using his head to point to the stairs. i quickly stood up, practically sprinting to the stairs. i pulled the hoodie over my head, almost tripping up the stairs. i finally got it on and i found mattia upstairs, keys in hand. "ready?" he asked me and i nod quickly. "great. let's go." he opens the front door, unlocking the car. i ran to the car and i hopped in the passenger. mattia ran down the front steps of his house, quickly opening the front door of his car. i played with the rings on my fingers. the rings kairi gave me. mattia turned on the car, put the car into reverse, and backed out of his driveway. i felt on top of the world. i didn't know what kairi was going to say, but i knew he would know. that was all that mattered. mattia took a right turn off his street. we were only two minutes away from kairis. my throat began to feel smaller and smaller and i was losing breath. i was petrified. if i knew kairi felt the same, why was i so scared? another right turn. kairis house was just down the street. i took a deep breath in, trying to keep my composure. i didn't know if i wanted to feel happy, cry or puke. mattia looked at me before pulling into kairis driveway. his car was here. he was home. i was home. i look at mattia with a small smile on my face. "you got this, y/n." he kisses my forehead, motioning me out of the car. i look to the door, my reflection in the window. i exhale sharply, and open the car door. i speed walk up to kairis door, quietly repeating to myself, "you've got this. you've got this." i made it up kairis steps and i walked up to the front door. i take another deep breath in. and out. i fake a smile on my face. "you've got this." i repeat to myself one more time before knocking on the door. the five seconds i was waiting for somebody to answer the door felt like years. i quickly look back at mattia, who was watching me from the car. i shrug, he gives me a thumbs up. i hear the door creak. "y/n?" a familiar voice said from the door. i turn back and to nobodys surprise, it was kairi.
fuck.

authors note
sorry for the long chapter, feeling very much writer moment 😜 nobody reads this but idrc bc i love love love writing this story