Going under... | ObaGiyuu | Hanahaki Disease

How did you..?

(The pic is me in an AI filter, lol. It's quite accurate. But my hair's a bit different. )
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God, I hate myself. Couldn't even die properly. Woohoo, I slit my neck and didn't die! Yeah, f*ck that sh*t.

I looked at Kocho as she finished dressing my wound.

"Well, Tomioka-san. You can leave now. You'll struggle to speak, though it probably won't change much seeing as you don't talk anyway." She said before she left the room, laughing slightly.

I got up and left as fast as I could. Any moment I'm away from Kocho is a moment of bliss. When I got outside, I took a deep breath. My breathing still sounded a bit strained...

"Tomioka." I turned and saw Uzui and Rengoku. I just looked at them, being unable to talk.

"So... um... you wanna come and eat with us..?" Uzui asked, awkwardly.

"It would be great to have you there! Even without a voice, you are awesome!" Rengoku grinned at me.

Liar. I'm a huge piece of sh*t. I'm useless and worthless. I don't deserve life, and I don't deserve friends.

I turn and walk away from them, waving slightly.

"GOODBYE, TOMIOKA!!!" Rengoku shouted after me.

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I sat down against a tree. It'd been a week since I slit my throat, but... the failure was getting to me. It was even worse when Kocho and Shinazugawa took the f*cking piss out of me for not being able to talk right.

I hit my head back against the tree. Sh*t why did I do that? That tree was hard as sh*t!

I scratched my head where I'd hit it and frowned. I heard something, and I froze...

It was water... running water...

I grinned as an idea hit me.

I'll drown myself! Nobody's near me, nobody will look for me! And if they do, it'd be too late!

I quickly got up and ran towards the noise of the water. I stopped when I saw the waterfall. I was at the top of it... if I jumped down, I might just break my neck, too...

I shut my eyes and walked towards the edge. I stood at the edge for a minute before putting my foot forward and taking a step off.

As I fell, I thought I heard running, but I shook my head. It's probably the water.

I hit the cold water, god, why did it hurt!? I opened my eyes, and I let myself sink.

Finally... peace...

I shut my eyes slightly as I watched the surface of the water getting further and further away...

I was finally free... then the shadow appeared...

Huh? I looked up as I saw the shadow. Who the hell-?

The person grabbed my shirt and dragged me up to the surface before he yanked me out of the water.

"What the actual f*ck!?!?" Iguro shouted at me. "Why would you do that!?"

I stayed silent as I stared at him. Have I mentioned how beautiful he is? His beautiful eyes... one like water the other like gold... his long dark hair. Though it was very... um... layered... still went around his face, framing it perfectly. God, this man was wonderful...

"Tomioka, what the f*ck are you doing!?" He shouted at me.

I could hear the pain and sadness in his voice... I didn't want to be silent anymore. I need to answer this lovely man.

"I... wanted the pain to finally end..." I whispered to him.

"You tried to kill yourself..?" He said almost silently. He put a hand on my shoulder. "Do...Do you want to talk..about...it..?"

I stayed quiet. I know he had a rough childhood, too. I don't want to burden him...

He awkwardly patted my head. "I'll be here if you need to talk..." He pulled me into a hug.

When he hugged me, I started to cry. It took the guy I had a crush on, the one who hated me, to save me.

I gripped him tigher against my body as I buried my face into the crook of his neck, sobbing my heart out.

He patted my head softly and whispered sweet, calming gentle things into my ear.

"Shh, shh, shh. I'm here now. I'm here. It's ok. It's ok now. Everything's going to be ok. I'll be here for you. Okay? I'm here."

"..." In that moment when he was comforting me, I fell for him. I don't know how, but I did...

It's such a shame it was unrequited...