🍃𝑻𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒔/𝔓𝔬𝔢𝔪𝔰 🍃

27.07.2023 ; 2:30am

Everyone has a person. A person that would choose them.

I used to have one. But they weren't good for me. Now we don't talk anymore.

It happend a few months ago. I should be over it, right? My life continues. I should feel better.

I do, in some way. But I miss them. I miss the human that was my person. The human that would choose me.

Well, I don't know if they would've chosen me. Because...there is she. She's great, she did nothing wrong.  But I guess deep down I knew she would be their first choice. They never needed to chose.

Neither did I, but it wasnt good for me. So I broke up. And I blocked them. I dont know why.

I think, in this moment I wasn't able to stand their long paragraphs, where they are telling me over and over again how bad they are feeling and what I did wrong. I never said I did everything right, but....I tried. I tried my best.

I suffered, too. And I never talked to them about it because they didn't even try to help. They just go "No shit, that and worse is how I am feeling all the time".

Before our relationsship, we used to be best friends. Literally. When they crushed on me, it got worse. It got even more worse after they confessed and we got in a rls.

To be honest, I wasn't in love with them. Not at the beginning. I guess that was a bit shit of me. But i didn't want to make it awkward or break their heart. 

Anyway....I'm not their person anymore. And they arent mine. I suppose.

And now? I am nobody's person. Not in any way. Not in a romantic, platonic or family way.

Maybe my best friend is my person, but I'm not sure if I am their person. They know me for 2 years, not even. She has friends that she knows since elementary school. As example her crush.

Well, I suppose there is only one creature who's person I am. My cat.

I am allowed to carry her around,  to pet her, to kiss her sometimes even slightly touch her paws. On bad days, she even bits people that want to pet her. Or she runs away from them. Not from me. Because we grew up with each other.

Literally.
She was there when everything was still fine. Perfect.
She was there when my parents divorced.
She was there at my first years in school.
She was there when the bullying got worse. 
She was there when I had mental breakdowns.

I mean, I love her as fuck, but isn't it sad that the only one that would truly choice you is your cat?