It starts before you can even remember: you learn, as surely you learn to walk and talk, the rules for being a girl. You are Princess. You are Daddy's Little Girl. Are you ticklish? Give him a hug. You're sweet, aren't you? You're a good little girl.
You don't remember those early days, but here's what you do remember: You remember ballet classes, the way your tummy stretched your pink leotard and your parents fretting over some future eating disorder, and then you were trying tap, or football, or "what about a musical instrument?" You remember "We just want you to be happy!" and you remember you said you were happy because you knew that's what they wanted to hear. How long have you been saying what everyone else wanted to hear?
Time went on, and GIRLS CAN DO ANYTHING! So speak up, I can't hear you! But also: Manners young lady. A boy is bothering you at school? Stand up for yourself! A boy is bothering you at school? He's just trying to get your attention. Do you like sparkles and unicorns, and everything prink? Oh, that's stupid now. Can you play this game? Sorry, no girls allowed.
Put a little colour on your face. Shave your legs. Don't wear too much makeup, you chav. Don't wear short skirts, you're asking for it. But don't have it too long, what are you a nun? Don't distract the boys by wearing bodysuits or spaghetti straps or knee socks. Don't distract the boys by having a body. Don't distract the boys.
Don't be one of those girls who can't have pizza. You're getting a milkshakes too? Whoa! Have you gained weight? Don't get so skinny, your curves disappear. Don't get so curvy, you aren't skinny. Don't take up so much space. It's just about your health.
Be funny, but don't hog the the spotlight, you narcissist. Be smart, but you have a lot to learn. Don't be a doormat, but GOD don't be bossy, you control freak! Be chill. Be easy-going. Act like one of the guys. Don't ACTUALLY act like one of the guys. Be a feminist. Support the sisterhood. Wait!? Does this mean you hate men? Does this make you like, gay? Maybe kiss a girl if he's watching though-that's hot! Put on a show. Don't even think about putting on a show, that's nasty, you whore!
Don't be easy. Don't give it up. Don't be a prude. Don't be cold. What are you thinking!? Don't friendzone him. Don't act desperate. Don't let things go too far. Don't give him the wrong idea. Don't blame him for trying. Don't walk alone at night. But calm down! Don't worry so much, you're being paranoid! Just smile!
Remember girl: It's the best time in the history of the world to be you. You can do anything! You can do everything! You can be whoever you want to be!
Just as long as you follow the rules.
YOU ARE READING
What's wrong with the world? Well, this.
Non-FictionI got so tired of all the things that are wrong with this world so I've decided to point it out. ANY AND ALL IMPUT IS APRECIATED!!!! If you want me to add a subject in all you have to do is ask and I will try to add it. ENJOY!!!!
