A Man Like Aaron Ashgrove

Chapter Seven

The first time I hallucinated was in the 11th grade, I was sick and at home while my mother and sister -lilly- had gone to los Angeles for a cereal commercial lilly was staring in.

Mom had stopped taking me along anytime she'd travelled once I turned 15. It never felt like she'd ever wanted to in the first place. Lilly was the star of the family, while I was the awkward elder sister always hovering over her shine. " Hovering over her shine" was a sentiment my mother reiterated.
So once I'd gotten old enough for my mother to not get judged too harshly for leaving me behind, she'd stopped taking me.

So there I was, home alone: Burning up with a re-occuring fever. And the only super vision I got was a nurse that stopped by twice in the day, and my grandmother who made sure to call me every chance she could, grandma was sick herself so she couldn't really travel all the way from Texas to see me- I was laying in bed when I'd heard it.

A distance sound from my window. It sounded like footsteps, loud thudding footsteps, very similar to horses. I couldn't believe what I was hearing so I ran downstairs. And there in the middle of our yard, smiling brightly, as the wind tossled his curly hair,was the boy of my dreams- Danny.

He was holding a bouquet of white roses as he majestically jumped off the white horse he had ridden. I hadn't even known he knew how to rid horses. And I'd known him all my life.

"Danny-"

He caught me off, placed his finger on his mouth to indicate I stay quiet. A smile on his face. "It's okay, I'm here to tell you what you've always wanted to hear, you dont have to say anything. Just listen Yasmin."

This was it, I had thought. All my years of loving him from afar, while he pinned after my sister was finally paying off. He was finally going to say that he wanted me, maybe he'd say he even loved me, as much as I'd loved him. And then we would be together, and maybe even-

Somebody had tapped me on the shoulder, before gently placing a cool rag on my forehead. I struggled to open my eyes and then I saw Beth. The middle aged nurse that had been looking after me for four days. I tried to turn my head to the window, to see if I'd catch a glimpse of Danny, but my body hurt so bad I gave up from trying.

"Sweetheart don't try to move." Beth cautioned. "You're temperature's getting worse, just like I'd told your mother it would. What type of mother leaves her daughter like this and goes on a vacation?"

Beth shook her head in dissapointment. I wanted to speak up and defend my mom like I always did. I wanted to correct Beth and tell her it wasn't a vacation, that my mother had gone for work -because at the time I'd believed this and I wouldn't know the truth for years to come (My mother had indeed gone on a vacation with lilly)- But just opening my mouth was a chore. So I used my energy to ask something more pressing.

"Where's Danny?"

Beth looked at me confused. "You mean your little friend? He hasn't been here Hun."

"But he was here with a horse, did you not see the horse Beth?"

Now she looked at me like I'd gone insane. "Horse hun, you must have been hallucinating. Poor thing, you've missed people so much you started imagining them. Don't worry love I'll be here till your mother returns, lord knows I can't leave you alone in this state." She stood up from my bedside. "Now let me go call your mother."

Beth called my mother, who honestly couldn't have been bothered. My mother told Beth to increase the dosage of my medication to help me stay in reality.

Reality.

At therapy sessions it was easy to slip into different times of the past, away from reality. When I was twelve I remembered how I told my mother I wanted to audition for the role of Dorothy at my school play, I wanted to be in the entertainment industry, just like her when I grew up. For years it had been my dream, but the focus had always been on Lilly.