8 is fate // Stray Kids

26

Hyunjin

Silence hung over the common room. Chan had called them all there, but he himself and Minho were still missing. Not that Hyunjin expected Minho to come, he was still out there, doing the Seven knew what. But for Chan to call them this suddenly, they knew something was up and thus the current thick tension that surrounded them as they waited for their leader.

As soon as Chan stepped into the room, Hyunjin knew that something was very wrong.

"Chan...?", he couldn't even phrase the question, too scared of the answer.

Chan glanced at him, but his eyes looked hollow and hazed. They were red and puffy. They carried the type of exhaustion that made it seem like the very elixir of life had been sucked out of him.

Hyunjin could feel his stomach drop and knot.

With a suppressed sigh, Chan threw six envelopes onto the couch table.

"No", breathed Hyunjin, but Chan's facial expression told him yes.

"No fucking way!", Hyunjin raised from his seat and stormed out of the room.

This couldn't be happening, he simply didn't want to believe that Han would do such a thing.

He barged into Han and Minho's shared room, only to find it empty. Even though he knew that it was futile, he checked the bathroom anyways. As well as the kitchen, living room and gym. There was no trace of Han in the entire house.

He felt so much at that moment, that he felt numb. Slowly, like everything was wrapped in cotton, he made his way back to the common room. Except for Chan, it was now empty, only two envelopes remaining on the table.

"Why?", Hyunjin's voice broke as the stinging in his nose announced upwelling tears.

"I- he-", Chan struggled to find the right words, it looked like he was in pain just thinking about it. "Just read the letter."

He slouched onto the couch, looking at his hands like he contemplated his life's decisions.

Hyunjin mustered the letter on the table, the one that carried his name.

A part of him still wanted to deny that Han had left, but he knew that he would have to face the truth sooner or later. There was no use in putting off the inevitable.

It felt so surreal, he had talked to Han just hours before and now he was gone. It made no sense to him why he would leave, he fitted the group perfectly. He had thought that Han had felt the same way. But maybe he didn't, maybe he had felt like an outcast among them and Hyunjin had failed to notice it. Maybe Hyunjin should have been more open about the fondness he carried for his friend. He should have told him how much he meant to him and how thankful he was for him.

There was so much he had left unsaid and now he regretted it deeply. He wasn't good at talking about his feelings. And he had thought that he had more time to do so. He didn't rush himself, thinking he could share his emotions with Han whenever he was ready, whenever the mood was right. They both avoided talking about personal stuff, starting a deep conversation like that out of nowhere would have been weird.

Wouldn't it?

Or was Hyunjin just overthinking things and there was no perfect time to be honest and show people how much you truly care about them?

Well, it's not like it mattered now. It was too late either way.

With one last glance at Chan, he grabbed his letter and decided to go to his room to read it.