Fearless || Ticci Toby x Reader ||

||CHAPTER 10|| Hot coco

We stayed like that for a while, just curled around each-other. The light seeps in through the blinds and wakes us both up. As the tiredness fades from my mind, reality hits me.

I just fucked my ex who tried to kill me.

Panic overwhelms my mind and I cant think straight. I feel my body fall back into the bed and strong arms hold me tight but my mind is in a different space. How can I look at myself after this? I feel like a whore, a skank, and like I just wasted a good nights sleep on a man who wishes I was dead. I can't believe myself and I wish past me had never even met Toby.

Toby

  I wake up again to Y/n falling back onto me, her eyes are clouded and she's shaking and crying hysterically. I immediately wrap my arms around her tightly, but still give them space to move and breathe. Nothing prepared me for this. Was it something I did? Did I move to quick? Did I say too much?

  All I can do is hold them as the panic subsides and they cry. She pushes me away, and sits with her head on her knees, up in the opposite corner.

  "What's wrong?"

  "What's wrong?!" Shit. "Toby, we moved way too fast. You came onto me and, yeah, I liked it but." They take a breath between their sentences, still in the end phases of her panic attack. "I don't know you, I don't love you, and I can't stand being with you knowing what you've done. You sliced my shoulder open and kidnapped me. How am I supposed to be happy with you?!" I feel like I want to bury myself under these blankets and never leave my bed while Y/n is free to leave.

  What have I done? All I wanted was for us to be like it used to be. Highschool was hell and Y/n was the shining angel in it all. Every time my stepdad would hurt me I would rush to her house. Her dad would make us cookies and the delicious smell would waft up to Y/n's room. She would talk me through it, and if he hit me she would bandage my wounds. If Lyra got hurt too she would tag along. We would all have a last minute sleepover and her dad would let us. I don't think we'll ever be that close again after this.

  I realize how long I've zoned out, Y/n's gone.

Y/n

  I've been sitting with Brian in his room for a while. Toby zoned out after I yelled at him. I walked away, and Brian was here to help comfort me. At first he let me have my space, he made me hot coco in the other room while I cried on his bed. But after he came back I knew I wanted contact. I dragged him onto the bed and sat so close to him you'd think we're glued by our sides.

  "I'm sorry. Toby can move pretty fast and it scares people." He whispers.

  "It's not just that. He scares me." I mumble. Looking away from Brian.

  "Understandable. But as a proxy you have to be abl-"

  "I don't wanna be a proxy. I wanna runaway and forget all about this." The headache from meeting Slender-man comes back and I quickly change the subject. "I just hate being alone with him."

  "Hmm." Brian hums, deep in thought. For a few minutes we just sit there in comfortable silence.

  "You can move in with me here."