|pretty boy| [neville longbottom x reader]

the guilt

3rd person pov
the first full week of fifth year has come to an end. people have changed. hermiones hair is longer and ginny is acting differently. y/n and neville haven't been as close lately, as before. it's saturday now. the great hall is bumbling with chatter. new students are learning all of the gossip. who dislikes who and whatnot.

neville pov
me and y/n are eating in silence. neither of us really has much to say lately. it's kind of awkward, it's like we're both too comfortable or we know each other too well. "so... how was your day?" i ask her, trying to break the ice. "it was.. fine.. i guess?" she says back blandly, in between bites of dinner. "you..?" she asks back. "oh- yeah.. uhm, same" i sink back into my seat.

y/n pov
you don't have much to say, honestly. everything about you and nevs relationship has just burnt out and you feel bored. everything has changed, but at the same time, nothing has. it's time for something new, fun, a fresh start.

3rd person pov
they both finished their dinner in silence before going back to the gryffindor common room. they walk in together, but not together. "i'm.. i'm tired i'm just going to go to bed, okay?" she says to him, giving him a side hug. "oh.. okay, i- i love you! sleep well!" he says back, kissing her head before she walks away. "yeah, i lo-" she mumbles as she walks away. she hides her face as she walks up the stairs.

y/n pov
tears form in your eyes as you walk away from him. you cant even tell him you love him because you're so ashamed of yourself. the guilt is consuming you, daily. how could you possibly bring yourself to tell him, without losing him. possibly forever.

neville pov
why is she being so awkward? is it something i did? said? i cant stop thinking as i lay in my bed tonight, staring at the ceiling. my eyes start to water. god, i'm such a wimp. she's probably going to break up with me. i cant lose her. she's my only good thing to happen to me ever. i love her too much to say goodbye yet.