as i'm walking out of the train with draco, my brother, i look ahead to the view around me, ive missed this view. the stars blazing the sky like you wouldn't see anywhere else, the castle sticking out from the top of the tress, the lights blinding me through the window. the view always leaves me in awe everytime i get to look at it. the only negative part about this whole situation is my brother draco, any girl would look at him and think he's perfect, but i see through his innocent act, he's cold hearted underneath all the acting. we don't really get on, we argue all the time, it doesn't matter how big or small the issue is, the arguments are always extreme and escalate quickly. i do love my brother, and i'd give the world to just have a normal relationship with him, but i've had enough, i'm burnt out with all the arguments. sometimes i think about where it all changed, and why it all changed, because i can't seem to remember myself anymore.
as we were getting off the train, draco managed to find harry, i might be a bit bias because of all the history him and my brother have, but i could never hate someone more than i hate harry potter. i just find him really annoying, like all the time it seems to be a different issue and he always gets special treatment off everyone. i might sound selfish, but i do understand he's been through a lot and survived voldemort, but that doesn't make him anymore different to any of us. he also finds every way to get everyone on his side so he gets attention,which i really can't seem to understand, at the start of hogwarts he didn't want attention, now all because he fought of some dementors two years ago he's all of a sudden the high and mighty, i get it's a complex thing to do, but he just gets on my nerves, i see why draco doesn't like him.
but as we walk past him, i take one minute to get a close look at him, he doesn't look well at all, the way he looks, he looks like a ghost and his eyes look like the light had left them. for a minute i felt guilty but i remember all the reasons why i hate him and the hatred comes back, but i can't help but try and investigate why he looks so unwell, obviously voldemort is back and no one believes him, i can't say much because i've already seen him due to my father, but it wouldn't make him look this unwell. i try and look carefully and find something that could be wrong but i just can't seem to find it. i don't want to feel bad for him because of the hatred between my brother and him and the history our family has with him and the people he's linked to but i can't help but feel sorry for him. i can't imagine how it feels to not be believed and get told you're going crazy. i still hate him nonetheless.
walking into the great hall is a better feeling than walking out of the train, as soon as i walk in, i finally feel at home and safe in where i am. hogwarts is the only place where i can be myself, it's the only place where i feel genuinely happy and don't have to fake my smile, it's my home away from home. walking into the hall gives me a sense of relief and happiness, it makes me realise that this is all real, that it's not a dream. it's the most beautiful feeling i've ever felt and it's a feeling that i doubt i'll ever feel again. but i'll always make the most of it, always.
when the sortings happen i always sit next to draco and his friends, i also sit next to my bestfriend pansy, i love her so much. she's so supportive and understanding, whenever i need to confide something in someone i'll go to her, no matter what it is, i trust her with everything. i know she'll always give me the advice that she knows will be best for me and just sits there and listens to me if i just need someone to listen to. we e been sending letters back and forth all summer. i'm also always taken away by her beauty, she's just so naturally beautiful and it makes me so jealous of her. id give everything to be the person that she is, she's so kind hearted and the most caring person i know. i love that girl with everything.
the sorting then begins, i can't really find anyone that i recognise, i recognise the last names from a few people in my year but it's no one that i know personally. the sorting is exciting but also boring, i've seen the same thing for 5 years so it just has gotten really boring. but every so often, i can't help but find myself looking at harry, and i won't stop for a while. everytime i do i think to myself 'oh god, he's actually not as bad looking as i thought he was' but in my head i'm still trying to investigate why he looks so pale and why he looks like he has nothing left in him. i'm supposed to hate him, i can't be associated with him, he's the enemy and my family would kill me. but then by the time i snap out of it, the sortings over and food has started to appear, much to my pleasure as i'm starving, i didn't eat that much on the train so this food is music to my ears.
after many servings of food, we're all dismissed to our dorms and i'm walking in a different stride now that i've fed myself. but as i walk out,i accidentally walk into harry, i say "sorry" quietly and look up at him and keep my gaze for a second. i can't help but look at him, his eyes are mesmerising. i shake my head and walk to the dungeons to get into my bed. i'm tired after a days worth of travel. but as i get into my bed, pansy looks at me and i sigh.
"how was your summer lia?" she asked. "and please be honest with me, i understand you can't tell me through letters but i want you to talk to me". i sigh and tell her about how busy the house has been since voldemort came back and how much more snappy and aggressive my dad has got with me and draco, and all the arguments between the family and him and my mom. "i know he's probably under stress," i say through quiet sobs, "but sometimes i worry he hurts my mum and i worry that he'll move onto draco. i don't care if he hurts me, but i don't want them to get hurt. id rather he hurt me than them if it gets to that point". it's true, as much as draco hates me, i'd take every hurt that's coming for him if it meant he'd be happy. through my glassy, teared up eyes, i can see pansy wiping away my tears and pulling me in for a hug, i try to stop crying, but tears just keep on pouring out. i eventually give up and let myself drown in her arms, because honestly i needed this.
when i eventually stop crying, she wipes my eyes and takes me into the bathrooms to clean me up. i thank her and let a few more tears out as she reassures me. but eventually we both get into our own beds and i can hear her snoring within 5 minutes. but i can't sleep, and i can't help but find myself thinking about harry again, about how i feel sorry for him, and how gorgeous he looks this year. i try and snap myself out of it, because i shouldn't be thinking about my brothers enemy, my family's enemy because i don't want to betray my family. but i can't snap myself out of it.
i just can't stop thinking about him.
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YOU ARE READING
enemies to lovers ~ harry potter
Fanfikcelia malfoy is a 5th year witch, related to the malfoys and linked in with the death eater, she falls in love with the main enemy. what will happen to her when they start to find out?