Equinox

one

September 1st, 1996

Aspen POV

I look beyond the glass and absorb the view, as I sit on the bay window of my room.

Leaves, once green, painted in shades of orange and yellow. All the while, the breeze knocks them free from their branches. It's an ethereal sight. The way the air, even out of sight, visibly moves the leaves in formations that only magic could mimic.

Blaise is in the grass, sparring with a dummy using a wooden practice blade, which is the length of his leg. Andromeda is off to the side, filling her basket in the garden and shouting orders at Blaise as he manoeuvres with the blade.

I hug my knees to my chest, leaning into the glass panes as Blaise continues to test his body's limits.

Andromeda has been making us train almost every day since the attacks started happening. I assume the initiative came from the Order rather than her own mind, Andromeda is more of a passivist—except for when her kids are involved.

I still wonder whether or not the Death Eaters are searching for me, or if it was a loss, they were grateful for. Nonetheless, I'm thankful to be here, in this house with the people I'm with. The purgatory I endured still sits in the back corner of my mind. Waiting.

The door in my room creaks open, and I twist my head to see Theo with his arms crossed leaning into the doorframe. He looks at me with kind eyes and a small smirk. A black t-shirt handing on his body over a pair of dark-washed jeans. The curls around his neck and ears, stick to his skin from sweat.

"I've been looking for you," he says with a playful tone.

I turn away from the window and set my feet on the floor, "You're not a good seeker," I respond smiling.

"I suppose not," he says rolling his jaw, but not breaking his smirk. "That's why I was a beater."

I fold my hands together and tuck them between my knees, "Well, you found me." I shrug smiling back at him.

He nods slowly, then bounces off the frame and trails towards me, "I wanted to see if you were up for it, to go on a walk?"

"Maybe when it's closer to sunset," I suggest, and my smile slowly fades. Theo is worried I'm developing some type of depression, I don't blame him for assuming; in all actuality, I'm just a different person. Stained. Burned. Permanently damaged. Pages were ripped out of my first book and thrown in the bin to be set ablaze. Now, we're on book two, which is full of dark truths that mimic walking through the fog at night, and I'm yet to find time to push through to face them.

He looks at me with a disappointed and disapproving face, then sits on the other side of the bay window, pulling me to sit between his legs as he wraps his arms around my waist.

"I didn't say a definitive no," I further explain, "I'd just enjoy the walk more if we were able to sit by the pond and watch the sunset."

Theo's hold tightens as he sets his chin on my shoulder and presses his chest into my back, "I know," he sighs, "I just wish Merlin possessed me with the ability to banish it. You took so much of my pain away last year; the dark clouds gained rainbows, and the alcohol started tasting like dirt."

My everything tenses and a tear falls from my eye. Theo presses his lips to my shoulder, the only bare part below my neck. The rest being covered by a green tank and a cream-coloured knit sweater --- which seems to have slipped down one of my shoulders. I bring my knees to my chest again, turning into a ball.

The bottom half of my vision blurs from the buildup of tears. I want so badly for him to be able to strip away all that has tainted me, without forcing me to forget. I want the memories, without the emotions. The existence without the trauma.