Song of the Heart

Chapter two: Schedule

Giyuu’s POV

Every day, I keep the same schedule. Every day, there are glimpses of the dark. Times when I am reminded of how almost friendless I am. How lonely my life truly is. I wake up, get dressed, brush my teeth, and go on a jog. Then, when I get back, I end up not eating breakfast, and if I do, it's just some plain granola bar. It's never really good, but it's good enough. I'm not too hungry in the mornings. They make me feel sick to my stomach. Then, after relaxing or maybe glooming for an hour, I head to my office job. I have my little cubicle, and thankfully, no one talks to me. Yet again, maybe that is part of the problem.
No one ever talks to me. After work, I go on my phone for at least half an hour and then decide if I want to post or not. If I do, then I get any instruments I have out and ready my voice before recording. On days I don't post, I just scroll more through tiktok. Either way, I'm on the app. By now, I've hit more followers than I would have imagined, and all these people are so kind and sweet to me. They call me pretty, they compliment my voice and sometimes people give me advice.
Just yesterday, when I was scrolling before deciding to post or not, I came across this other musically talented person. Sanemi Shinazugawa. His music was so melancholic but beautiful. Having a calm but sad tone. He himself, though, looked angry and beautiful. He doesn't look so sad, but maybe he's hiding that. His music felt like a piece of me. As if his music with no words was about me. Obviously, it isn't, but a man can imagine, can't he? So I gathered up the courage, and I posted.
A song, I made up some lyrics that surprisingly came to me fast. I put it with his music and posted it. I'm sure he would see it eventually by his followers. What if he doesn't like it, though? What if he lashes out and sends an army of hate at me? Crushing me and my hopes of ever making music my main thing. He's already doing it... Living my dream. I sigh and close the app after posting such a risky video. I go and change into my pajamas and head downstairs to drink some tea before bed. Then I see my roommate.
Right, my roommate... the only one who has stuck by me all this time. One I call friend. My only friend. He means so much to me. We don't see each other that much, though. Even though we live together here. He works long hours, but he says it's all worth it. I used to have a small crush on him. Over time, though, he's become such a brother figure, not a lover figure. I don't know if I can love.