Narrator: So, why are we here again?
Narrator 2: The story! Shut up you dimwit, here comes Gwen.
*Gwen enters the stage, slow jagged steps, singing a song (I don't care what song, but 'Baby' by Justin Beiber is preferred)*
Narrator: Clearly, she is insane.
Narrator 2: Insane with grief!
*Gwen's dead mother appears, floating above the stage*
Gwen: Mother? Why aren't you in hell?
Linda (Gwen's mother): Shut up, I have something to tell you!
Gwen: Say it fast, before I phone the priest.
Linda: I was killed by a dagger in my n-
Gwen: I know! I found your body!
Linda: Shush! Let me speak! It was murder-
Gwen: I know! Mother, just tell me who did it!
Linda: I have only a few seconds left, but it wasn't who you're expecting.
Gwen: Speak! Answer me! Spit it out!
Linda: I will tell you, my dear daughter.
*Linda gets dropped onto the stage, and nuns and priests immediately surround her, spritzing her with Holy Water, making her scream*
Narrator 2: Ow, where did they even come from?
Narrator: I called them, we can't have demons on stage.
Gwen: No! I need to know! Speak, I command you!
*Linda disappears*
Gwen: Damn it!
*Gwen grabs a broom and chases the nuns and priests off stage, attempting to spear them at the end with the blunt part*
Gwen: How can I solve a murder with no evidence?!
Narrator: Can't she just, like, phone the police?
