Sanctuary | Chanbaek

Chapter Five

He still didn't know what title to put on Chanyeol when it came to the taller male's place in his life, but they were closer now than they had ever been. Baekhyun didn't flinch away from his touches anymore, which had increased tenfold. He didn't fear what it was like to be this close to someone again. They spent every night together again, lounging on the floor and laughing, talking more openly about their pasts than they ever had before.

Baekhyun learned how Chanyeol had cut his hair in the bathroom at school when he was seven because another kid dared him to. He had done such a bad job that his parents had to give him a buzz cut so it would all grow out evenly. He told Chanyeol about the way he had run away from home at thirteen when he realized he liked men, afraid his parents would disown him. They never did, they loved him.

Kyungsoo and Minseok always gave him knowing glances and teased him during the day when they would hang out at the nurses' station. They called him names like lover boy and told him that he should just go ahead and get a move on before Chanyeol and he died of old age. He told them over and over he didn't think of Chanyeol that way. Chanyeol and he were best friends of some sort, someone he just wanted to hang out with all the time. Someone who made his heart skip a beat with simple sentences. Normal best friend shit.

Observing Kyungsoo and Jongin or Jihyo and Sana was a rough experience for him. He loved when they all sat at a large table together for a meal and he could see just how much the two couples cared for each other. He felt weird when he realized Chanyeol and he acted the same way. He didn't think he would ever be ready for something like that. Despite his doubt, his fingers fiddled with his ring less and less. His mind became more and more clouded with thoughts of Chanyeol. He started to crave when they would be together and night, sitting so close to each other that their legs touched. Many nights he found himself tinkering with the idea of scooting even closer, pulled to Chanyeol like gravity pulled him to the earth.

Were he and Chanyeol like the others? He pondered it over often at night after Chanyeol left to sleep, staring at the ceiling as he lay in bed. Chanyeol did touch him in similar ways, though they never kissed and rarely hugged. He still would let his hand fall against Baekhyun's lower back as they walked, or hold his hand when guiding him somewhere. He'd never forget how it had felt when Chanyeol hugged him from behind on the roof, how safe he felt in that moment. How warm Chanyeol's chest had been against his back.

He would get lost in his thoughts, watching the way Jongin also put his hand on Kyungsoo's lower back when they walked. He noticed the way Jihyo and Sana looked at each other with this emotion in their eyes that he hadn't felt in so goddamn long. He didn't know how to feel when he would see the way that Kyungsoo softened at the sight of his boyfriend, knowing that his guard went down the moment Chanyeol walked into the room. Romance had made him weak for so long, he had fought so hard to become hardened to the idea.

They stayed glued at the hip every day for the next week. Chanyeol would scoop him his food again, and walk him to and from meals. They would spend mornings after breakfast up on the roof, sitting in the chairs near his garden even though nothing had been planted. They just wanted to spend a few moments every day feeling like the world around them was normal. One time Chanyeol had reached across and intertwined their fingers without saying a word as if testing the waters. Baekhyun didn't break the silence but he didn't pull away either. A comforting yet confusing middle ground.

Chanyeol was going to leave soon to scavenge and it scared Baekhyun more than he would admit out loud. Baekhyun tried not to think about it often, though he found his mind drifting there at night. Chanyeol had been out plenty of times, he was one of the best scavengers if not the best in the hospital. There was a reason he went on every single trip. Before the outbreak he had explored national parks galore, trekking through mountains and deserts. Of course that was before he had become prey to undead hunters. This was the furthest they'd ever gone to scavenge since Baekhyun moved in and it was uncharted territory for them. Cities had gotten so dangerous so fast due to the high populations, Baekhyun had spent two years doing his best to completely avoid them. It was too dangerous, but it also wasn't his place to say no.