I awoke in an unfamiliar place, while a rather pale environment surrounded me. Slowly adjusting my vision, my sight remained hazy. As if euphoria was enchanted into my world, it felt as though i was floating. A sense of serenity rushed through my veins, despite how i was unable to move a muscle. I didn't want to anyway. The haze itself allowed a softened filter to slip into my reality, a somewhat ethereal quality seeped into the horizons of the desaturated room. Rather than an utterly stiff surroundings, the lights that emitted from cracks or bulbs transformed into rotating rays of light. A relieving scent entered my nostrils, I wish it didn't. Because as the scent finally created it's impact, it was like a tidal wave that contained the solid items that people lost in the sea crashed over me whilst i was in cloud 9. A complete flicker between blissfulness, and the harsh thing entitled "reality". The fog from my vision has already escaped my grasp, and left me numb with this harsh display of a hospital room. I have little to no recollection of the past. What happened before i was brought here? A bitter taste tainted my tongue as I picked up the shattered image of what occurred.
A brief picture of the incident flashed; a dark tint of red appeared, it's contents being almost completely blurry. I glanced at my body and saw my wrist, all covered up by the white silk of the bandages wrapped around my arm. My heart pounded as realization slapped me, another failed attempt. I was a puppet in this world. The puppet of those who allowed cherry red liquid to pass through their pale lips, lies set lose from the same mouths that once 'deemed' freedom and equality. The same people who puts on a facade, attempting to mask up all of their flaws; their whole existence was a flaw. Of course, I knew it was where i belong. Wine that glimmered as it was spilt right into one's filthy mouth, matching the jewelry draping around their world. I hoped that maybe as time passes, I would glisten and shine just as vibrantly.
I don't think that desire ever washed away; rather it remained on shore. Only— it was now covered in sand and pebbles. Like it should be. Buried deep, yet it's existence still continues. I loathed control, but my whole life was already tied to a string; by the government, and by my own head. It was only common for me to seek solace, some sort of way to cope the depths that pushed me to dusk. Wherein everything began to deteriorate, my future and so forth escaped my grasp within seconds. There were moments where I was able to escape this endless fortress of terror, but it's effect decayed not much time after. The boat i was on that helped me manage waves and storms on the sea has— too— given up on me. I was drowning; Drowning in a sea and into the abyss, the abyss that only wanted to witness me experience complete and utter torment. I've tried, and tried to let go of the oxygen imprisoned in a doll, its walls flesh and insides red. I've tried to finalize my breath. I've tried to permanently pause the constant pounding in one's chest. All of my attempts simultaneously failed; once i realize the outcome, its not much of a surprise, just another disappointment.
