Damn

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It was a cold night in no man's land. Vash, Milly, and Meryl had been lucky enough to find a shallow cave to rest in for the night. The group made a circle around a small campfire that emitted a dim light. Shadows danced along the walls as everyone slept soundly.
Well, not everyone.
Milly was in a deep sleep, snoring softly and dreaming sweet dreams, with a big old smile plastered on her face as proof. Meryl, on the other hand, had just woken up, hair frizzled and a little groggy. It was her turn to keep watch. She took a moment to get her bearings. As expected, Vash was just outside the mouth of the cave. He was sitting on a rock, admiring the starry night sky. Meryl made sure to walk quietly and quickly so as to not wake Milly, rubbing her eyes and fixing her hair as she did. Vash didn't seem to notice when Meryl was behind him.
"Vash, go get some sleep, it's my turn now."
Meryl placed a hand on Vash's shoulder. He turned to look at her. He was surprised momentarily, but he gave her a soothing smile after realizing who she was.
"Thanks, but you don't have to take over. I don't need that much sleep, you know."
"You'll die of exhaustion if you keep thinking like that," Meryl lectured. Vash, despite his pacifism and kindhearted nature, had a tendency to find himself in perilous situations almost daily. It was bad enough that he had a bounty of $$60 billion, but he was also actively being hunted by people with supernatural abilities. Vash couldn't afford to lose out on something as important as sleep.
"You need to sleep, Vash. We already agreed on watch rotation."
"I know, but it's so nice out tonight. What if I miss out on a shooting star? That's a whole wish I could have used, wasted."
Meryl laughed softly. She had almost forgotten about Vash's asinine nature. It was part of his charm, she supposed. When they first met she found it beyond obnoxious, but these days she didn't mind it. One could reasonably say that she enjoyed watching him say and do stupid things. Mostly because it was funny to watch it inevitably blow up in his face, but at times it was endearing. Seeing him like that despite his circumstances, despite the cruel world they lived in, it gave her hope. For a gentler, softer future.
Unfortunately, Vash was still insistent on staying up in her place. So she did the only thing she could think to do. Meryl sat down next to Vash and crossed her arms.
"Fine, if you won't get your rest, then I won't either."
Vash's glasses fell ever so slightly down his face, he raised his brow.
"And what exactly is that supposed to do?" Vash scratched his neck, "Now neither of us are gonna get any sleep."
"Well, that's just too bad, isn't it?" Meryl started to tap her foot, "Maybe if someone followed the schedule instead of wasting everyone's time, we wouldn't be here right now."
Meryl had always been a bit stubborn. Though time and time again it seemed to be to her benefit. Perhaps that made it more akin to determination.
"C'mon, I was just trying to be nice," Vash pouted.
"You've been 'nice' for the last few nights. You need your rest, otherwise you're only going to end up hurt."
"I'll be fine. I promise."
"You will, because I'm looking out for you, Mr. Stampede."
Vash found Meryl's tenacity a little intimidating when they first met. When she wanted to be she could be a scary person, but he began to appreciate these aspects of her as they got to know each other better.
By this point, Vash knew that Meryl was an incredibly caring and considerate person in addition to her determined nature. While they didn't always see eye to eye, there was a mutual respect between them that could not be denied.
I should have known this was how it was gonna go. Vash thought to himself.
"Well gee, thanks. I still want to look at the sky though."
"Fine then. Look all you want. But don't blame me if you feel miserable in the morning."
Vash wasn't lying about not needing all that much sleep. He was ready for a full day by now, but no amount of talking he could do would convince Meryl of this fact. Truth be told, Vash didn't mind the position he was in. Sitting next to a pretty lady under a starry night sky was a fairly good deal. Though something to drink would have been nice.
"If you really wanna stay up, I won't stop you. It might get a little chilly though," Vash said.
"Stop me? I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing. You're the one who won't listen to reason. And you're delusional if you think some cold will stop me."
Vash readjusted his glasses.
"If you're happy with that, then let's enjoy the stars for a bit, yeah?"
Meryl furrowed her brow and exhaled.
"It's not like there's much else to do."
An hour passed. The desert is deceptively cold at night, and both of them knew this. Vash was suspiciously unaffected by the temperature drop, but Meryl was regretting not bringing something to warm her. She refused to go back to fetch anything because that would mean that Vash would have his way. She was particularly determined to win the competition that she started.
Another hour passed, Meryl was noticeably shivering, and had to fight with all she had to simply keep her eyes open. Meanwhile Vash remained unaffected, eyes glued to the sky, only occasionally glancing at Meryl to check on her. The next time Vash glanced at Meryl, his gaze lingered.
"Meryl, you should go back to bed."
"N-no way. It's still my t-t-turn to keep watch."
Meryl's head was drifting to the side by now, she was on the verge of falling off of the rock.
"Meryl, you're too tired. Get some sleep."
"I'm fine. I just... need to rest my eyes."
Meryl veered away from Vash, almost falling. Vash quickly put his arm around her and pulled her close. She was cold, still shivering.
How could I let this happen? I must look like a fool to him.
Meryl couldn't feel frustrated, her eyes were too heavy to open, and Vash was just so warm. He was holding her tightly, as if she were still falling, and she felt safe. When was the last time she truly felt safe?
There was a mix of emotions happening all at once. She was upset at herself first and foremost, for losing her own game. Vash would never let her live it down. A slightly more embarrassing feeling, though one she would never admit it, she had fantasized about being in his arms at least a few times. It was a riveting feeling, one she wished to savor. The next time she wanted to be like this she would have to ask, and her pride wouldn't allow that. Not for now anyway.
She knew she had feelings for Vash for a little while now, but was still coming to terms with them. What if he didn't feel the same way? What if it was only a fad? She had to be sure before doing anything rash, because as much as he got on her nerves sometimes, she was terrified of losing him.
For the time being, she was content with testing the waters. Brushing against his hand, leaning against him at a bus stop. Even teasing him now and again. How long it would stay like this, she didn't know. Part of her wanted to stay in this flirtatious limbo because nothing painful would happen. If asked about her behavior, she could write it off as banter, and she liked that deniability.
Though, she found herself thinking about him more and more lately. Maybe it was time to make a move, take a leap of faith or whatnot. But that could wait for tomorrow. Right now, she was tired, and Vash was warm.
Vash was as still as a statue until he was sure Meryl was asleep. She stopped shivering and was breathing softly, putting her full weight onto him. He didn't even notice that she had wrapped her arms around him.
Vash didn't know what to do. He only meant to catch Meryl and take her back to her sleeping bag, but the sensation of having someone so close to him was so unfamiliar that he froze. It wasn't like he hadn't hugged anyone before. He had given a fair amount of hugs to people in distress before, and occasionally when he would play with children of whichever town he was staying in he expected to be climbed on, considering his height.
But this was different. More special than the other times. He couldn't quite understand what separated this moment of physicality from the others.
A pit grew in Vash's stomach. This was something he actively avoided at all costs. He made a point to never engage with something of this nature.
Intimacy.
Vash was not human. That much was obvious. He had lived for over a hundred years at this point. Maybe more. He stopped counting who knows how long ago. Maybe he would live forever, maybe for only a thousand years, but the important part is that he would outlast anyone he could ever care about. He avoided intimacy for that reason. The temporary pain of rejecting someone, of keeping someone an arms length away for a lifetime. That was infinitely preferable to loving someone with everything he had, only for them to be a footnote in his life.
Vash began to panic internally. Did he have feelings for Meryl? When did that happen? He had made a point to avoid this exact scenario for as long as he could remember. When did he let his guard down? Did he have feelings for her? He had ignored those kinds of feelings for so long he couldn't quite recognize them anymore.
Vash wanted to take his mind off everything. He focused on the near silent crackle of the campfire, the night breeze. Meryl was so close to him, he hadn't realized. The rock they were sitting on was a pretty brown, or maybe a dull crimson, he couldn't tell in the dark. When did she dig her face into his chest? What kind of constellations could he find? She smelled nice. The sky was a gorgeous dark blue. She stopped shivering. That was good. Was that a lizard in the corner of his eye? The sound of her breathing relaxed him.
Vash was terrified. Even if she felt the same way, she would be in danger if she followed him. If Knives found out about her she would be used against him. For her own sake he had to distance himself. Besides, it would never work, he'd live too long and have to bury her eventually, and he couldn't bear that thought.
If he distanced himself now, it would hurt less later. Minimizing the pain was all he could do.
Out of the corner of his eye, there was a flash of light. A shooting star.
Vash turned his head to the heavens. The wish he had only jokingly wanted had arrived. He thought for a moment. Contemplating what to use this childish reward for his persistence on. Then he looked at Meryl. He never let himself realize how beautiful she was. In a moment of weakness, he let himself wish a desperate wish. He held her a little tighter, and closed his eyes.
Please. Let this moment last as long as possible. If that's not too much to ask.

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Vashmeryl I cooked up in like 5 days like a year ago and just didn't publish lolWhere stories live. Discover now