YinYang self 🥀

4.WITHERING 🥀

Sometimes it's okay to feel that I need not get my walls up !
It scares the part of me that I hold pride in not covering it !
I let myself wonder how loving someone on normal terms like normal human would actually feel now that I am not same as before
How would I feel for wanting simple gestures of love and reassurance from someone I need to get it?
Wonder how getting the love and not directing my thoughts towards protecting myself from them would feel ?
Would I ever allow someone beyond the walls and let them surf through the dark jungle inside me whilst they not wither away from the darkness of it
How I would be able suppress my dark evil side to let the pure angel inside me come to surface and not regret it ?
Would I ever be in a place where both my YinYang sides relish with happiness without being bothered to protect each other?
I feel everything at a times like such when something,some thought stirs my guard and make me keep it down
And some times I feel like the emotions I have shunned down to the extent that even if summon them they refuse to show themselves .
Moments like this are where I am scared of myself where I feel some kind of emotional battle that try to win over and I don't want it because the slightest I falter there begins the revolt of my demons that I rule !