On the other side

10. Save me

I stand outside waiting for Zayn to get here, I asked him to come pick me up and he said he will request for me instead since he's occupied at home. I am outside the beach house waiting for him to arrive. While waiting I decide to text Ronewa that I am okay, won't be coming back tonight. I know tomorrow is school, but I don't want to be alone tonight.
"Hey" Zayn says walking to me
I have never said this but this guy is so handsome, he really does not put much effort on what he wears and loves oversized T shirts so much. It is weird how he can still look like this.
"Sorry I couldn't pick you up, I had to run an errand for my dad." He explains
"It is okay, sorry to disturb." I say
He doesn't say anything but stare at me. Then opened the door for me to get in, we walk in both silently. He closes the door and walk past me, making me feel more awkward than before.
"How is your friend?" He asks
"She is alive, she just believes i am sleeping with her man." I answer
He has the same look on face.
"I am not like that." I say defensively
"I didn't say anything." Zayn calmly
"You have that face and I don't like that. You are judging me, I get it. It is not the same coming from you."i say
He exhales.
"What's going on here right now?" He asks
"I don't know." I answer
There's silence.
"I have to get back home, you can stay here. I will come and pick you up in the morning." he says
What?
"You are leaving, why?" I ask
"I can't be here with you because I might just end up fucking you." He answers
I laugh, he is serious.
"Im serious, I don't want to be just another guy in your life who you fuck on convenience. I want the part of you, you don't show to anyone else. And I want you to crave me too, not just sexually but mentally and spiritually too." He says
I had a long day, not to mention the weekend and I really want sex. I can have sex with anyone I want but I don't want...
"Don't look at me like that" him
I want him, i am now horny and him resisting me it's not helping.
"Take me home." I say
He looks confused. Then I walk past him to the door, i feel his hand reaching for arm pulling me back to him. His eyes goes down to my lips, then he lets me go. It finally makes sense, he is fighting me. He came here for sex...
"Stop messing with me" He walks to the door and lock it.
"I had a long fucken day, I came here because you asked me not to fuck anyone. " I say
He looks at me like he is thinking hard.
"Then I have to lock you in." Him
I laugh but he means it, he then carries me and literally rush to the room, throw me on the bed. I jump off the bed and run to the door but he gets there before me, shutting the door on my face with him on the other side.
"Zayn don't you dare leave me here by myself, I swear I will kill you." I shout
I don't have good memories of being locked up.
"Zayn...give me my damn phone. Ahh!" I scream
My phone fell when he carried, I had to fight him to put me down. I scream his, repeatedly until it gets to me that he is gone. He left me, he locked me up. Who am I a prisoner? Yes you are
The voice im my head making fun of me.
"You have been a prisoner all your life, Mommy locked you up all alone in the house. You remember those nights..."
"Zayn please, let me out please." I am crying
I don't want to be here with myself, i dont want to listen to myself.
"Oh he's gone, left you like everyone else in your life. No one can stand you, no one loves you. So they all left, now little Ndivhuwo has come out to play."
I feel my heart explode and I scream. If I don't hear anything then at least they will stop, these thoughts of torment that has tormented me all my life. Made me feel like I am still caged even though I am free.
"You are so cute sweetheart, I can't wait to taste you. I promise I will be gentle only if you behave."
"Shut up, shut up, shut up!" I scream my lungs out until I can't scream anymore
That is what that bastard said to me before he took my innocence, and then he broke me down to shreds and I have never been whole again since.
I am now sitting with my knees covering my face, using my arms as a shield. Against the demons, that are these thoughts of mine that wont set me free.
"It hurts, please stop. You are hurting me." Chuckling
"Please stop, I can't take this anymore. Please." I cry
It goes on until I shut my eyes and cover my ears with my hands and start sobbing.