Reada incorrect quotes because I got bored

Before you ask (like anyone is going to...) I am making a part 2 for my reada oneshots and it will be a story suggestion by BadGirlCoven123😁

Eda: I can't believe everyone is wearing black. Black is supposed to be my thing. they're all just posers
Raine: For the last time, we're at a funeral

Eda: Fellas, I gotta know for science. Is the opposite of red green or blue?
Raine: Technically a mix of green and blue?
Eda: So blurple.
Raine: That's implying you're mixing blue and purple.
Eda: Would you rather have fucking bleen? MOTHERFUCKING GRUE?
Raine: You were confusing before but now I'm scared.

Eda, after getting a job as a life guard: Hmm... I wonder what those things at the bottom of the pool are..
Raine: THOSE ARE PEOPLE DROWNING!

Eda: I’m doing my best.
Raine: You’re not doing anything.
Eda: Yes, that’s what I’m best at.

Eda: If I'm extra sarcastic with you it probably means I'm flirting with you or you really annoy me and I can't handle your crap... have fun figuring out which one.

Raine: Could you be anymore annoying?
Eda: Yes.

Eda: Don’t worry, I have a permit.
Raine: ...This just says “I can do what I want”.

Raine: *standing on a balcony and sneezes*
Eda: *standing on the roof* Bless you.
Raine: God?!

Raine: I’m not being weird. Am I being weird?
Eda: Yes, and that’s coming from me.

Raine: Ayo, what the FUCK is this?!?
Eda, sitting down, surrounded by corpses: I won Mafia, that’s what.

Eda: So I can either do something dumb that could very well get me injured or I can listen to Raine and not do the thing,
Eda: Well there’s a clear right answer here.
Eda: *proceeds to throw five packs of mentos into a barrel full of diet coke*

Eda: I failed my safety training course today.
Raine: Why, what happened?
Eda: Well one of the questions was "In case of a fire, what steps would you take?"
Raine: And?
Eda: Well apparently "FUCKING LARGE ONES" isn't an acceptable answer.

Raine: I made this friendship bracelet for you.
Eda: You know, I’m not really a jewelry person.
Raine: You don’t have to wear…
Eda: No, I’m gonna wear it forever. Back off.
(☝️I know the reference for this one😁 just figured I'd point that out)

Eda: Remain CALM! *slaps Raine multiple times*

Raine: Eda, can I speak to you for a minute? In private.
Eda: Ooh, someone's in trouble. It's me. I don't know why I did that.

Eda: Raine, I don't like you.
Raine: What did you say?
Eda: You heard me!
Raine, internally: And it turns out I actually didn't hear what the fuck you just said.

Raine: I’m serious! They’re watching me! They’ve even got an agent following me! Don’t you believe me?
Eda: Look, it’s not that I don’t believe you… It’s that I don’t believe you and I don’t care.

Raine: I love murder mysteries!
Eda, trying to impress them: I've been a suspect in four murder cases.

Raine: Eda, what are you doing tomorrow?
Eda: Having my day ruined by whatever you’re about to ask me to do.

Raine: If we lose, you’re out of the will.
Eda: I was in the will?

Raine: What are you guys playing?
Eda: Go Fish.
Raine: That’s a nice, safe game.
Raine: But don’t you need cards?
Eda: Where do you keep the spear gun?

Raine: I've met a lot of pricks in my time, but you, Eda, are a fucking cactus.

Raine: I'm sorry. Please talk to me.
Eda:
Raine: Hello? World's most amazing person?? Sweet pea? Precious cinnamon roll that's too good for this world, too pure?
Eda: 'Sorry' doesn't bring back my fucking M&Ms.

Raine: Eda has only knocked me out three time this week. Our relationship is really developing.

Raine: Help! I’m drowning!
Eda: Calm down. We’re only in six feet of water!
Raine: NOT ALL OF US ARE TALL!

Eda: My hands are cold.
Raine: Here, let me hold them.
Eda: My lips are cold too.
Raine: *covers Eda's mouth with their hand*

Eda, staring lovingly at Raine: I would die for you.
Raine, doing their own thing: Then perish.

Raine: How does that even work?
Eda, mocking them: hOw dO yOu UsE a cOmPUteR aNd KnOw wHaTS GoiNg oN iT DoEsNt mAke SeNSe?!
Raine: Your face doesnt make sense.

Kidnapper: I have one of your friends.
Raine: Which one? I have seven.
Kidnapper: The loud, annoying, rowdy one who never shuts up.
Raine: Which one? I have seven.
Eda, distantly: HEY!!!

Raine: I wish I could help you, but I shorn’t.
Eda: Raine, please!
Raine: What part of shorn’t don’t you understand?

Raine: Are you coming to bed?
Eda: I can't. This is important.
Raine: What?
Eda: Someone is wrong on the internet.

Raine, peeling a banana: May I take your jacket, sir? Hahahaha.
Eda: Do you think other people can’t hear you?

Raine: So jellyshish-
Eda, laughing: JELLYSHISH!?
Raine: You know what I meant!

Raine: Eda, please calm down.
Eda: I asked for two large fries!
Eda: *dumps fries onto table*
Eda: But all they did was give me a MILLION FUCKING LITTLE ONES!

Eda: *texting* Hey can you pick me up I’m drunk.
Eda: Oh you don't have to anymore. I'm home now.
Raine: Yes, I'm aware of that after dropping you off at home.

Eda: How would you like your coffee?
Raine: As dark and as bitter as my soul.
Eda, shouting to someone behind the counter: I need one vanilla latte with extra cream and sugar!

Eda: Slash gamemode creative.
Raine: Dude, this isn't Min-
Eda: *starts levitating*

*At the police station*
Raine: Hi, I’m here for Eda.
Police officer: Who’s Eda?
Raine: Ah, you must be new.

Raine: What is the one thing I told you not to do?
Eda: Burn the house down.
Raine: And what did you do?
Eda: I made dinner.
Raine:
Eda:
Raine:
Eda: And burnt the house down.

Raine: How petty can you get?
Eda: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about

Raine: Hey, it's your turn to wash dishes.
Eda: I'LL WASH THE WALLS RED WITH YOUR BLOOD.
Raine: 'Kay, but before that, wash the dishes, also use soap this time?

Raine, sweating: Eda, there’s something I need to ask you-
Eda: Finally! You’re proposing!
Raine: How’d you know?
Eda: Raine, you’ve dropped the ring five times during dinner.
Eda: I even picked it up once...