Fatalé (18+)

Chapter forty seven

Five months later

Nico

"Niccolò, you have a delivery. They've arrived."

Nothing was as simple as I thought it would get. Understanding and explaining something was tough, especially if it's something that makes you lose your mind. The world was a beautiful lie, and it's never easy to explain that because not everyone thinks the same. The reality of it all is that one day, it'll go away but what's unfortunate is that we never know how it may end.

Cold bloodied killers should taste death, a slow painful death because they have no reason to kill. They kill for gratification, to feel power, to watch a life being taken away, to take a life. Not for what I do it for. I kill to bring justice, even if it wasn't my place. I kill to watch the evil suffer. I kill to take back what's mine. Yet, the world still didn't understand that, suddenly I'm the bad person for taking back what's mine but none of that mattered, not until I was satisfied.

I turn my head to Gio and nod, indicating that I'm aware and at the same time, dismissing him because I wanted to be alone for some time. Though he was doing exactly what I've been ordering him to do for the last couple of months, I didn't appreciate the interruption he caused. The man was doing his job and I was just making it harder for him. I knew this couldn't wait like the rest, but slowly and surely, I was crippling inside, losing something I thought I'd never feel. I needed to get down there and start what needs to end.

"I'll be down in a second, Gio." I mutter. My tone was heavy with fatigue because I haven't had a wink of sleep, not a good one to say the least. The past couple of months have been like hell for everyone, but for me, I felt lifeless. If Papà was here today, he'd be disappointed. And as much as I didn't want to admit this, but if he was here today, none of this would've happened.

Gio firmly nods and walks away, leaving me stranded in my thoughts. Nothing made sense, it's like I've become incapable of the things I once was capable of. Perhaps I wasn't doing enough, or, what I was doing was unnecessary but at this moment, time was of the essence. Everything was falling out of place, but when were things even in place to start with? When Alessia went, I learnt to cope but this time, I'm incapable of anything.

Five months.

Five months without her, five long months of searching for her, day and night and I'm losing my fucking mind.

Everyday is harder and harder without her, without knowing what she's doing, how she's doing and knowing that my baby isn't safe with me. I feel my chest constrict with each breath I take as my mind is consumed with the thought of her, her face, her smile, her body, her touch and her voice. I'm crushed, helpless, fucking insane, and nothing without her. And I've become manic since I'm unable to find her. It's been five long months, and as each day passes, I'm slowly losing everything. I'm beginning to lose the idle of hope that I'll even get Ilaria back but I will never stop, I can never stop until I see her, until I find her, even if it meant I'd have to fight every man on earth just to get to her.

I feel palpitations in my chest, something I've never felt before and it hurts. It feels like I'm about to take my last breath and it fucking hurts, knowing Ilaria is out there somewhere in the world, suffering each day and having no one to save her. I've become manic since the day she was taken right in front of my eyes, earned a few enemies, neglected my own appearance because of those sleepless nights and neglected the family I had. I blink, it's so pitch black in here and so quiet, I can hear my thoughts all at once, screaming at me.

I leave the dark room, leaving my dark thoughts behind, knowing I'll come back to them some time later because I have to face this sick reality, find a way to beat it, and the only way I can do that is if I find a way to her. It's consumed my entire days, my life even and soon, I'll be gone if I don't get what I want.